in on Satellite of Boredom>
(Fallon and Zelda watch as Link and Nightshade are at a deadlock in
their staring contest)
Fallon: Hmmm... how long do you think they can go on like this...?
Zelda: *checks the time on her watch* Er, well... it's been two hours
Nightshade: ...gah... can't move... my eyes!
[Author's Note: And the ever-so-witty Link strikes again... O.o;]
(Suddenly the lights start flashing and Link and Nightshade jump,
both blinking at the same time. A screen popped up with the image of
Sylvain, grinning widely)
Zelda: Oh my... this wont be good.
Fallon: *dripping with sarcasm* Your powers of deduction amaze me,
Link: *sighs* What is it now?
Sylvain: Heh... well, it seems that Ganondorf has found a lovely little
fic for you four to riff...
(Ganondorf can be heard chuckling ominously in the background)
Sylvain: *still grinning* It's a lovely little Pokemon lemon...
"We all have needs"... *starts laughing rather maniacally*
Fallon: This will be painful...
Nightshade: Damn, this isn't my department! I want out!
Zelda: I don't think you'll be getting out of this one...
Link: *mutters* At the very least, Zel should be let out of this one.
Nightshade: *rolls eyes*
Sylvain: Well, you'll all have to--Gah! *is pushed out of the way*
(Ganondorf steps into view)
Ganondorf: Nightshade, this time you're being replaced with...
*riffles through some papers* Damn, well, it appears the new applicant's
sheet has been misplaced... Oh well. Sylvain will be joining all of you
today... *smirks* Consider this your good-bye MSTing, Nightshade...
Nightshade: *blinks* Good-bye MSTing...?
Link: *raises a brow* Either Ganondorf's finally getting rid of you,
or you've got a ticket out of here...
Fallon: *mutters* Lucky bastard...
(All four riffers enter the theater. A disgruntled looking Sylvain is
sitting in the fourth seat of the first row, arms crossed. Fallon chuckles
and sits to his left, Nightshade on the right, Link next to Fallon,
and Zelda in the row's first seat)
(6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)
(Lights dim, and the torture begins...)
> "We all have needs"
Sylvain: *mutters* Yeah, like getting out of here NOW.
Fallon: *sighs* Yeah, some Advil...
Link: Or a sedative...
> by The Faceless Evil
Zelda: How... original...?
Sylvain: OH-HO!! AOL!! ...That explains everything now.
Link: AOL... The Faceless Evil.
Fallon: I'm seeing a connection here. *smirks*
>James paced outside of the office, his thoughts
>were a jumble. He was broke again, and he desperatly
>needed a raise in order to pay for his food and rent bills.
>The money shortage was so terrible that he had to set up
>a tent in the wildnerness in order to sleep, but that
>was becoming more dangerous as the days wore on, especially
>for a member of Team Rocket.
Zelda: *coughs* Recap... the rent of James's tent and his food bills
were too high...
Sylvain: heehee... Rent of tent... *giggles mindlessly*
>He was surprised when Giovanni said he would see him,
>normally the Boss wouldn't even take his request into
Nightshade: But since Giovanni, and not "the Boss", was in,
things were looking just ducky!
>He had been told to arrive at his office
>at Noon, so he showed up at eleven-thirty just in case.
Fallon: Yeeesss... just in case he came too late... and...
missed all the lemony action.
Zelda: *rolls her eyes*
>The secretary told him to take--
Link: Some valium, because this fic was gonna be hell!
>a seat, but he was so
>nervous he coun't sit still, so he resorted to pacing.
Sylvain: Coun't... is this some sort of abbreviation for Count...?
Link: It appears that the fic has an accent.
Fallon: "Coun't"... say it out loud, it sounds like cu--
Zelda: *puts a hand over Fallon's mouth* None of that...
>He practically jumped out of his skin--
>when the clock on
>the wall struck twelve.
Sylvain: And the mouse ran down, hickory dickory dock?
>The Secretary nodded in his
>direction and told him that Giovanni would see him now.
Nightshade: However, the secretary did this with an amazing
lack of diologue!
>He took in a nervous breath,
Fallon: And let out the over-confident one he'd been keeping.
>checked himself in the wall
>mirror, and opened the door to enter the office.
>The office was dimly lit, there seemed to be no windows,
Link: *frowns* Isn't that against the law? You know, fire
safety and all...
Sylvain: You're really reaching there, Hero.
>and the only furniture that was apparent was the desk
>that Giovanni himself sat behind.
Fallon: *laughs* Okay, so lemme get this straight... Giovanni's
just hiding behind the desk, on the floor??
Sylvain: So it would seem...
>His figure was
>shadowed and sitting in an intimidating manner.
Zelda: How does one sit in an intimidating manner...?
Nightshade: Like this!! *Sits in an intimidating manner*
Link & Sylvain: *sweatdrop*
>When James made his cautious entrance, the Persian
>sitting on Giovanni's lap hopped up to slink around the
>chair with a dark snicker.
Zelda: A chair magically appeared! O.o
>This didn't help James' nerves,
Sylvain: Yeah, I know I don't like it when furniture
just appears out of nowhere.
>he didn't like that Persian, and seeing it acting so sneaky
>jarred his senses.
Link: (James) Whoa, dude! Sensory overload!
>He wiped the sweat off his brow with his
Nightshade: (Giovanni) *gets hit in the face with a bucket-worth
of sweat* Gah!
>walked up to the front of the desk, and stood at
Zelda: (Giovanni) Eh, yer looking for the army recruiting office next door...
Link: (Giovanni) At ease, soldier!
>Giovanni looked him over carefully, and spoke in that deep
>evil sounding voice.
Sylvain: (Giovanni) *deep, evil sounding voice* Did you bring
me my danish, boy?
>"What do you want?"
Link: Who's talking...?
Nightshade: (Giovanni; whiney voice) I want my danish!
>James gulped, and stuttered a bit as he replied.
Zelda: Er... with no diologue... again.
>"W-well S-sir.. under the c-current s-situation I feel
>that i-it is nessary for me to have a r-raise on my
>s-salary, if you p-please."
Sylvain: (James) Also, I w-w-would l-like to p-point out that
the airconditioning is on w-w-way t-t-to high in here!!
>"Why do you need this raise?"
Fallon: (James) Well, ya see, boss... the exotic dancing career
isn't going as well as I'd hoped...
Zelda: Eep! x_x
>"W-well S-sir, I need it for my food, and l-living
Nightshade: Why doesn't he just shack up with Jessie?
>"We all have needs, James."
Zelda: Can you say "foreshadowing", everyone?
Zelda: Good, I knew you could do it! ^_^
>Giovanni turned his chair a bit to the side as James
>blinked blankly at him.
Sylvain: (James) *blank look* Duuhhh.... huh?
>"W-what do you mean, S-sir?"
Link: I think the fic is skipping! *whacks it a few times*
>The Persian smirked evily--
Fallon: How the hell can a cat smirk!?
>as James was motioned
>to come closer.
Nightshade: *evil grin* Come into my parlor, said the spider
to the fly...
Sylvain: *nervously leans away*
Fallon: I reckon there'll be a lot of "coming" later.
Everyone else: *groan*
>He hauched over a bit with fear,
>slowly stepping around the desk to face the Boss.
Zelda: STOP THE FIC!!!
(Fanfic comes to a screeching halt. Everyone turns to look at the
Zelda: So... Giovanni IS the Boss...?
(Fic starts up again)
>Giovanni glanced up once at him with another motion, this
>time directed at his own slacks, speaking simple words.
Link: ("Boss") Spilled coffee. Need new pants. Yours will do.
Zelda: Simple words, for poor James was a bit of a dunce.
>"Unfasten those, then you will understand."
Nightshade: *shudders* Wrong... wrongwrongwrong!
Link: ...Oh dear god, no.
Sylvain: *starts rocking back and forth in his chair*
Fallon: *shrugs nonchalantly*
>James took a step back in shock, his eyes as wide as
Link: My thoughts exactly!
>"Didn't you understand what I just said, James?"
Fallon: (James) Uhhh... yeeees... and you'll be hearing from my lawyer!!
>"You need a raise, and I need relife,
Zelda: Relife? Is he a distant relative of Redead?
>we can help each
Sylvain: DON'T DO IT!!! IT WONT WORK!
All: *look at Sylvain oddly*
Sylvain: Uhhh... well, I mean, er...
Fallon: *eyes him* Uh... didn't know you went that way...
Sylvain: No, I'm not-- I mean, my boss wasn't a-- Oh... forget it...
>James could barely speak, numb with shock he just stared
>at the pants.
Zelda: (James) Good god... they're... HIDEOUS!
Nightshade: (James) Polyester? Really now, Giovanni...
>He was desperate for the money,
>what else could he do?
Fallon: Get a real job?
Sylvain: Start pimping Jessie? *grins*
>If he accepted he would get
>what he wanted, if he refused not only would he not get paid
>he would probably loose his job.
Link: Hasn't he heard of a sexual harrassment suit?
>He collected his thoughts
>and spoke quietly.
>"If I did this for you,what would happened the next
>time I needed money?"
Fallon: (Boss) Then you'll be in here again to suck my--
Link: Fallon... let's try to keep a little above the fic here?
Fallon: *sighs* Fine... *mumbles* i'm not promising anything...
>"If you do a good job, I'll make sure your taken care of."
Sylvain: As in... sleeping with the fishes?
Nightshade: Wearing cement shoes?
>"This will be secret?"
Zelda: (Giovanni) Uh... of cooouuuurse... *evil grin*
>"Strictly off the record."
Link: (Giovanni) That is, until you're out of my office.
>James sighed, perhaps if he was a stronger individual he
>would refuse, but it seemed like he had no choice. He
>stepped closer, then lowered himself to his knees in
>front of the chair.
Fallon: Heyyy... things might finally be getting interesting.
Nightshade: *rolls his eyes* Do you ever think of anything else?
Fallon: *grins* Not when I don't have to.
>His shakey hands reached out, carefully
>unbuttoning the waistband, and lowering the zipper.
>Reaching inside he felt the erect organ, no undergarments,
>did the Boss know that he was going to do this?
Sylvain: That last sentence... made very little sense...
Fallon: Logic flies out the window once the sex starts.
>His cheeks turned slightly red with embarrassment, he pulled it
>out of the confined area and examined it. It was thick, long,
>and shuddering with need.
Zelda: That sounds very... unattractive.
Fallon: Unarousing to say the least.
>James decided to take it slow, no
>hurry, no reason to risk choking.
Link: And why not? It'd end the torture quicker.
>He gripped the base tightly,
Fallon: Too tightly, and Giovanni's penis fell off. The end.
(Sylvain, Link, and Nightshade sweatdrop)
Zelda: Oh my...
>lowering his head to engulf the tip with his lips, brushing his
>tongue across the surface. It had a tart flavor from the slight
>wetness leaking out from the tip, undoubtly caused by arousal.
Sylvain: Or maybe all that coffee finally caught up to the Boss.
Link: Urk! *grabs empty popcorn bag and revisits his lunch*
Zelda: I did NOT need to hear that!
>Giovanni seemed to make barely a noise during this, his
>breathing became a bit slower
Nightshade: And eventually stopping completely. Can we go now??
>as he layed his hand on
>his employee's hair, stroking it lightly. Moaning
>softly at the feeling of power and sweet pleasure.
>The Persian seemed to be enjoying himself immensely just
>watching from behind the chair.
Fallon: Even I'M gonna leave that one alone.
Everyone else: GOOD!
>"Yes that's it James, put that obnoxious mouth of yours
>to good use."
(Everyone has a good laugh at that)
Sylvain: Oh man, that's a classic.
>James squinted his eyes and resisted the urge to use
>those teeth of his to destructive work.
Zelda: And why NOT!? Geez...
Fallon: Lemme put this simply, Princess. Lemon+logic=noncompatible.
>He pushed down his
>pride, squeezing the shaft tighter
Nightshade: If he keeps going like that, it really MIGHT
>as he gingerly licked down
>it. Soon moving his hand away to incase the entire length in
Sylvain: A glass case. Who knows, it might be worth something
Link: *shakes his head*
>his throat,choking back the gag reflex. He wasn't about to make
>a mistake now.
Nightshade: Well... I guess if you're gonna do it, you might as
well do it well... ugh.
>Giovanni leaned back in his chair,
Sylvain: And fell backwards!
>his fingers gripping
>the lavender-blue hair tighter as the boy sucked on his
>sensitive member rougher.
Nightshade: Pleeeeease, no more "falling off" jokes... -_-;
>Taking in a strained breath
>he murmered down at James.
>"I'm almost there,
Sylvain: *feigned innocence* Almost where?
Zelda: Almost back into his chair... ^_^;
>I expect you to swallow."
Nightshade: *weakly* ...Well, it's almost over?
>James blushed furiously, feeling ultimately degraded.
Fallon: ...And giving his boss a blow-job WASN'T degrading??
>his mouth on the throbbing penis once,
All: Extreme bobbing and throbbing action.
>grazing his teeth
>against the delicate skin. It didn't take long after that to
>feel the shot of
Nightshade: The .44, can we GO now!?
>bitter liquid flood his mouth.
Fallon: I could make a very nasty comment here.
(Everyone else glares at her)
Fallon: ...But I wont.
>and swallowed it down reluctantly. Pale and shakey he pulled
>away from the satisfied Boss.
>Giovanni shivered faintly with the feeling of his climax,
>snickering softly as he gazed down at James.
Zelda: Who had passed out on the floor.
>"Fasten me up like a good little boy."
>James fought back tears as he did just that. Rising
Link: No!! I want to go home sometime today!!
Link: Oh... *relieved laugh*
>he refused to even look at his Employer, but
>he couldn't ignore the words that continued to come
>from his mouth.
Nightshade: So... James is going to talk now...?
Zelda: How can he CONTINUE to talk? I mean, his
mouth was... er, a little... full... earlier.
>"Very good, you will be well paid for this. Are you
>sure you haven't done this before?"
Fallon: (James) Weeeell.... there WAS that time Meowth
and I got reeeeally drunk...
Sylvain: GAH!! *throws his remaining popcorn at the theif*
>James reeled back with disgust,
Link: As did we all.
>the mocking tone of
>those words sent his face flushing
All: *immitate flushing noise*
>with anger. He muttered
>"Can I go now?"
>"Yes yes, go now, and be grateful for my generousity."
Nightshade: (Giovanni) Yeess... be grateful that I was generous
enough to let a woooooorm like you "please" me.
Sylvain: (James; a la "Wayne's World") I'm not worthy!!
>The poor boy fled the scene with the haunting laughter
>of Giovanni ringing in his ears. His arm pressed on his
>eyes to cover the hot tears of humiliation stinging his eyes.
>A few hours later, Giovanni pushed the button to speak
>to his secretary.
>"Send the next one in."
Link: Next one?? Oh please, let this be OVER already...
>He petted his Persian
Fallon: So that's what they call it in the Pokemon world?
>as a new figure entered his office,
>he spoke in greeting.
Zelda: As do most people when they greet others.
>"What do you want?"
Nightshade: (person) Yes, I'm the lawyer of one of your
employees... you're being sued for sexual harrassment.
>"Well Boss, I was hoping to get an advance on my pay.
>Besides the fact that I consider myself well worthy of
>such a raise, I'm in need of it right now."
Sylvain: (person) *strikes a pose* Pay me. You KNOW
you want to.
>"We all have needs, Jessie."
>~ The End.
Zelda: Yes, okay, let's go!!
Fallon: Looks like there's... more.
Link: Flatline. The fate of all ye who read this tripe.
>Continued Author's note:
Nightshade: Continued? Since when?
Fallon: Not really. It was barely non-con, and there was
nothing violent involved. I mean, the Boss coulda--
Zelda: Stop. Now.
>I love getting e-mail
>so write me your opinion of the story.
Sylvain: (Jay Sherman) It stinks!
>Even your flames!
Zelda: This guy's really asking for it.
Nightshade: I wonder if this counts as our
opinion of the story...
>I love seeing what the random rabble of the world feel
>they need to say.
Sylvain: I feel the need to say this... PBBBBBBBT! *blows a raspberry*
Link: Thank the Triforce... let's get outta here.
(Everyone files out of the theater, talking amoungst themselves)
<Back on the Satellite of Boredom>
(Sylvain is pacing back and forth grumbling, waiting for Ganondorf to
contact them. Link and Zelda are standing apart from the rest, talking
quietly to each other. Nightshade is sitting in a corner with a vexed
expression, going unnoticed by everyone else. Well, almost everyone.
Fallon sees him, and walks over...)
Fallon: *crouches down in front of him* Hey, what's up?
Nightshade: *blinks and looks up* Oh... I'm just wondering what Ganondorf
meant by "goodbye MSTing"... I'm a little worried.
Fallon: *waves a hand dismissively* Don't be. He's probably just
jerking your chain.
Nightshade: *sighs* Yeah...
(Suddenly the lights flash and a screen pops up showing Ganondorf's
Ganondorf: So... did that little story finally break your spirits?
*grins* Are you ready to hand over the Triforce??
Link: *steps in front of the screen with Zelda beside him* In your dreams,
Ganondorf. You'll have to try harder than that.
Sylvain: *pushes Link out of the way* Okay!! What's the deal!?
(Fallon and Nightshade walk over to better hear what's going on)
Ganondorf: *boredly* I tired of having you around. Well, that...
and the fact that I lost the applicant's sheet...
(Everyone sweatdrops. Nightshade steps up to the screen)
Nightshade: Okay... so what's the deal with this being my last MSTing...?
Ganondorf: *waves dismissively* You're leaving. Sylvain will be taking
your place for now. And YOU, little wizard... YOU'RE taking Sylvain's
place here. *begins to do the typical "evil villain laugh"*
Nightshade: Waitaminute!! Don't I get a say in this!?
Fallon: *whispers* Hey man, this is your big chance! You'll be getting
Ganondorf: *Snorts* You'd REALLY want to stay?
(Nightshade looks around at everyone and is silent for a moment.
He notices Zelda, who shakes her head slightly. Link watches him
impassively. Nightshade turns back to the screen...)
Nightshade: *flatly* You've got yourself a new button pusher.
(Ganondorf snaps his fingers, and Nightshade appears at his side, looking
a little startled. The once-leader of the Gerudo people grins widely)
Ganondorf: Until next time, my little guinea pigs... I promise that your
next fanfiction will truly break you!!
MSTer's comments: Well! Here it is! Complete with beginning and end
segments. I hope everyone likes it, because I put a lot of effort into it.
Until next time, everyone... ^_^
Stinger: "...and the only furniture that was apparent was the desk
that Giovanni himself sat behind."