*Fenrir walks up onto the stage. Kiyone, Gohan, Yosho, and Karade enter and take their seats.*

Yosho: So what do you have for us today Fenrir?

Fenrir: I have an e-mail that I got today.

Kiyone: An e-mail?

Karade: Is it another one of those horse XXX ones?

Fenrir: Errr, no. Thankfully. It’s uh, well I can’t even begin to describe it so I will just show it to you.

>>If you are a time traveler or alien

Yosho, Kiyone, and Gohan: *Raise their hands.* We’re aliens. Does this mean we can go?

Fenrir: No!

>>and or in procession of alien

Karade: Alien bodies? Oh those are out at Lake Groom (A.K.A. Area 51).

>>or government technology

Yosho: Government technology? So is that stuff invented by the government?

>>I need your help!

Kiyone: Well clearly you need help.

>>My case is truly genuine!

Yosho: Genuine leather?

>>I seek to work with someone who is of a good nature,

Kiyone: Well that’s an awkward sentence.

>>someone I can call my savior as well as a friend.

Yosho: Well I know a minister you could call. I think he would be better suited than the government to discuss such matters.

>>My life has been severely tampered

Karade: Let me guess Chichi still has to buy medicine with child proof tamper lids?

Gohan: That’s right! How did you know that?

Karade: Oh, just a guess.

>>with and cursed!!

Gohan: Ahhh! Black magic!

>>I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

Kiyone: Oh great, another person who is just a tad overzealous in their use of exclamation points.

>>I need to be able to:

Gohan: Write better?

Kiyone: Stop using punctuation in the wrong ways?

Karade: Stop sending weird e-mails?

Yosho: Seek mental health?

>>Travel back in time.

Gohan: You know Trunks–

Karade: We know, we don’t care.

>Rewind my life including my age back to 4.

Kiyone: Why four? Why not three or five?

Yosho: Let’s not ask questions.

>>I am in great danger and need this immediately!

Karade: What? Are the men in white coats about to catch up with you?

>>I want to work with you in any way possible.

Kiyone: You know, I can understand someone wanting advance technology asking Fenrir. I mean he is the greatest genius on Earth, but what makes this guy think Fenrir would help him? Fenrir’s not a nice guy.

Fenrir: Hey!

>>I am aware of two types of time travel

Karade: Forward and backward?

>>one in physical form and the other in

Kiyone: Mental form.

>>energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp

All: Huh?

Kiyone: Dimensional warp?

Yosho: I have no idea.

>or the brain snapshot device

Karade: From the way he’s talking one would get the impression that this “brain snapshot device” is a common everyday product.

>>and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self.

Karade: *Waves the “What the Hell?” flag.*

>> I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would be the safest and best solution.

Yosho: I think we’ve found someone more insane than LQ. This guy is freaking nuts!

>>Please explain how safe and what your method involves.

Karade: My method involves a giant hammer, a roll of duct tape, and a package of Jello.

Kiyone: *Hums MacGyver theme.*

>>I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless

Yosho: Okay two things. 1. What the hell? 2. If it had limited abilities then doesn’t that mean it has little use, not totally useless.

>>without a vortex.

Kiyone: Oh I see, all it needs is a vortex to work. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

>>If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator

Karade: Well if we knew what the hell a vortex was. . .

>>or where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals

All:. . . .

Karade: *Waves the “What The Hell?” flag?* What the hell is this guy on?

>>this would also be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these crystals give off,

Kiyone: Well they are glowing. What did you expect?

>>if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful.

Yosho: Okay, any one have “a shielding?”

Karade: Nope.

Kiyone: No I don’t.

Gohan: I have some lint. Does that help?

>>I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized,

Kiyone: I am completely lost. How the hell are we supposed to make jokes about something like this?

>>North-south polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time travel only.

Yosho: Well of course. I mean that makes perfect sense. The Earth’s spin and all that.

>>If you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE)

Kiyone: And make sure it’s not a whole.

>>email to:

*The others look at Karade.*

Karade: Oh no, there is no way I want this guy being able to contact me.

>>Thanks

All: No thank you. Freak.