*Fenrir walks up onto the stage. Kiyone, Gohan, Yosho, and Karade enter and take their seats.*
Yosho: So what do you have for us today Fenrir?
Fenrir: I have an e-mail that I got today.
Kiyone: An e-mail?
Karade: Is it another one of those horse XXX ones?
Fenrir: Errr, no. Thankfully. It’s uh, well I can’t even begin to describe it so I will just show it to you.
>>If you are a time traveler or alien
Yosho, Kiyone, and Gohan: *Raise their hands.* We’re aliens. Does this mean we can go?
>>and or in procession of alien
Karade: Alien bodies? Oh those are out at Lake Groom (A.K.A. Area 51).
>>or government technology
Yosho: Government technology? So is that stuff invented by the government?
>>I need your help!
Kiyone: Well clearly you need help.
>>My case is truly genuine!
Yosho: Genuine leather?
>>I seek to work with someone who is of a good nature,
Kiyone: Well that’s an awkward sentence.
>>someone I can
call my savior as well as a friend.
Yosho: Well I know a minister you could call. I think he would be better suited than the government to discuss such matters.
>>My life has been severely tampered
Karade: Let me guess Chichi still has to buy medicine with child proof tamper lids?
Gohan: That’s right! How did you know that?
Karade: Oh, just a guess.
>>with and cursed!!
Gohan: Ahhh! Black magic!
>>I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!
Kiyone: Oh great,
another person who is just a tad overzealous in their use of exclamation
>>I need to be able to:
Gohan: Write better?
Kiyone: Stop using punctuation in the wrong ways?
Karade: Stop sending weird e-mails?
Yosho: Seek mental health?
>>Travel back in
Gohan: You know Trunks–
Karade: We know, we don’t care.
>Rewind my life including my age back to 4.
Kiyone: Why four? Why not three or five?
Yosho: Let’s not ask questions.
>>I am in great danger and need this immediately!
Karade: What? Are the men in white coats about to catch up with you?
>>I want to work with you in any way possible.
Kiyone: You know, I can understand someone wanting advance technology asking Fenrir. I mean he is the greatest genius on Earth, but what makes this guy think Fenrir would help him? Fenrir’s not a nice guy.
>>I am aware of two types of time travel
Karade: Forward and backward?
>>one in physical form and the other in
Kiyone: Mental form.
>>energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp
Kiyone: Dimensional warp?
Yosho: I have no idea.
>or the brain snapshot device
Karade: From the way he’s talking one would get the impression that this “brain snapshot device” is a common everyday product.
>>and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self.
Karade: *Waves the “What the Hell?” flag.*
>> I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would be the safest and best solution.
Yosho: I think we’ve found someone more insane than LQ. This guy is freaking nuts!
how safe and what your method involves.
Karade: My method involves a giant hammer, a roll of duct tape, and a package of Jello.
Kiyone: *Hums MacGyver theme.*
>>I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless
Yosho: Okay two things. 1. What the hell? 2. If it had limited abilities then doesn’t that mean it has little use, not totally useless.
>>without a vortex.
Kiyone: Oh I see, all it needs is a vortex to work. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.
>>If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator
Karade: Well if we knew what the hell a vortex was. . .
>>or where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals
All:. . . .
Karade: *Waves the “What The Hell?” flag?* What the hell is this guy on?
>>this would also be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these crystals give off,
Kiyone: Well they are glowing. What did you expect?
>>if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful.
Yosho: Okay, any one have “a shielding?”
Kiyone: No I don’t.
Gohan: I have some lint. Does that help?
>>I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized,
Kiyone: I am completely lost. How the hell are we supposed to make jokes about something like this?
polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time travel only.
Yosho: Well of course. I mean that makes perfect sense. The Earth’s spin and all that.
>>If you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE)
Kiyone: And make sure it’s not a whole.
*The others look at Karade.*
Karade: Oh no, there is no way I want this guy being able to contact me.
All: No thank you. Freak.