*Fenrir appears on the stage.
Karade, Yosho, Gohan, and Kiyone enter and take their seats.*
Fenrir: Today we have our greatest challenge before us. We’ve MSTed many bad fics in the past. Today we MST something by the legendary bad
fic writer, Link’s Queen.
All: *Gasp in horror.*
Fenrir: Yes, I know. It’s scary
just to think about reading one of her fics.
But, we must do this. We must
contribute to the battle against this evil force.
Yosho: By “We” you mean the four of us right?
Fenrir: Right. What? You didn’t think I was going to stick around
for this did you?
>Authors Notes:
Yosho: Oh no, I have heard of these, she rambles on for pages, and
pages with these.
>I have done it
again. ^_^
Kiyone: Wrote another one of your disturbing stories?
>I'm right back at
it. This is my 3rd song fic
Karade: Oh great, a song fic. What fun
>based on another
one of Mariah Carey's songs called "Butterfly"
Kiyone: So Mariah Carey has several songs called “Butterfly?”
This one is focusing
on Malon's feelings for Link.
Yosho: What! You mean someone
else is allowed to have feelings for Link?
That’s amazing in an LQ fic.
>How the relationship
they had just didn't seem to work out. She's going to explain how they met and
fell in love, but then it seemed that his love for her slowly started to slip
away over time.
Gohan: Like a certain person’s mind?
Yosho: No that went quite quickly.
>Now its been 10
years since they were together,
Kiyone: Uh, oh. I wonder what is
meant by “together.”
Yosho: Don’t worry about that.
Of course Link would never do anything with anyone except Jenna.
>(This is after
Link defeated Gannon but he did not go back in time)
Kiyone: Yeah, stupid Ocarina of Time telling us all those lies.
>but it seems that
Malon now 28 years old,
Karade: Yeah, it seemed that way, but she was really 30.
>still feels something
for him, she found it hard to let him go then, but does she have to let him go
again, even though he has found and married another?
Yosho: Well considering how possessive Jenna is of Link I am guessing
that Malon is screwed.
>Rated PG 13
Kiyone: You mean this isn’t a lemon?
All: YES!!!
Karade: No drinking of each other’s urine! Yay!
>for adult langue
Gohan: What’s adult “langue?”
Kiyone: Uh, I have no idea.
>and themes. Disclaimer:
Ok I know I do not own Malon, Link or any of the other Zelda peeps.
Yosho: So is LQ trying to be from the hood now or something?
>They belong to
Nintendo (Though I wish I owned Link hehehe)
Karade: But I thought that Link came into Jenna’s room every night and
entered her “lucid dreams.”
>But I however do
own Jenna and any another chars
Gohan: “Chars?”
Kiyone: My thesaurus gives it as “brand” as in branding cattle. So I have no idea.
>in this story that are
not found in Zelda, so don't use them without my permission. I'm just using the
Zelda peeps for my stories.
Yosho: Without Nintendo’s permission.
>Butterfly EMBED
Pbrush
Karade: *Waves his “What the Hell?” flag.*
Kiyone: Is that supposed to be slang or something? I guess we just aren’t really super cool like
LQ and get all of these words from the street.
>A lesson learned
in letting go.
Yosho: Someone needs a lesson in letting go for sure, not naming names
of course.
>The sky was
setting off tones of deep pink, and lavender,
Gohan as sky: *Sets off fireworks.*
>the sun nearly fading
from the horizon as Malon was ushering the last two horses into the stables for
the night.
Karade: Shouldn’t Malon be having sex with the horses? I mean, remember who wrote this.
Kiyone: Now, now. Remember, we
are supposed to not attack the author, just the fic.
>It had been a long day
and she was tired. After she secured the last two horses into their stalls, she
walked out of the barn, latched the doors shut then went into the house.
Yosho: Ahhhh! The run-ons.
>Ingo was busy cooking
dinner while her dad, Talon was upstairs getting cleaned up. She decided to go
upstairs herself and clean up as well before dinnertime.
Karade: How considerate of her.
She takes care of horses all day and then she decides to wash up when
she’s done.
>She went into her room
and stood in front of her vanity and begun to brush her long reddish blonde
hair. Malon watched as the image in the mirror mimicked everything she did,
Yosho: *Smacks his head* It’s a mirror!
Of course that’s what it’s going to do.
>right down to the
twinkle that reflected from her crystal blue eyes.
Gohan: Were they magic crystals?
>She ran the brush down
the full length of her hair, stopping for a moment after every few strokes.
Karade: Are we sure this isn’t a lemon?
>When she finished, she
sat the brush down and proceeded to walk to the bathroom, when something caught
her eye. There on the nightstand sat something that always gave her bad
memories.
Karade: Was it a LQ fic?
Kiyone: *Smacks Karade* Don’t insult the author! Just the fic!
>She walked over to
it and picked up a gold bracelet made with Triforce links
Gohan: So were those links in the shape of Trifoce’s? Which let’s face it just makes them
triangles.
>lined with
diamonds that Link had given to her when they were together.
Yosho: Again with this “together” part.
I kind of doubt that Link would be giving something made of gold and
diamonds to some “friend” I think someone just doesn’t want to admit that her
imaginary boyfriend might have been with someone else before her.
>She gave the
bracelet a scornful look
Karade: I’m sure that the bracelet had it’s feelings hurt.
>as she walked over to
the bed and sat down. Turning the bracelet over, she read the inscription that
was engraved on the underside. "To my love Malon." "I love you
always."
Kiyone: Well, since Shibby isn’t here.
Why fic talk like Tarzan?
>Her face twisted into a
scowl as she remembered the day Link gave it to her. He gave it to her just
days before he "broke it off" with her.
Yosho: Of course it wasn’t his fault.
This psychotic girl put a gun to his head and said that he was going to
be her girlfriend. He either had to
break it off with Malon or she might have ended up dead.
>His excuse was that he
felt as if the flame between them had slowly flickered out and that his
feelings for her were just not the same anymore. She remembered how long she
cried that night, she practically cried herself to sleep.
Gohan: Good thing she didn’t though, she might never have woken up.
*Ominous music plays*
>Then for the next few
days, it seemed as if her heart had totally fallen out of her chest, the
feelings she had for him still lingered strong inside her.
Karade: That wasn’t all that was
lingering inside of her.
Kiyone: That’s sick and
disgusting you know.
Karade: What can I say? I try.
>Every time she saw him
after that, she would breakdown and cry, it even happened more then once in the
Market, causing her to feel like a total ass.
Kiyone: Uhh, I could understand if she was embarrassed maybe, but that
doesn’t make any sense.
>But she held strong,
held onto a hope that he would return to her, return to the love they once
shared. "When you love someone so
deeply They become your life It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imaged I could Keep
Kiyone: Why is “keep” capitalized?
Yosho: Who knows?
>you under glass
Karade: She want’s to keep Link under glass? Well that’s disturbing.
>Now I understand
to hold you I must open my hands And watch you rise"
Karade: *Bursts out laughing.* Are we one 100% sure this isn’t a lemon?
>"Spread your wings
and prepare to fly For you have become a butterfly Fly abundantly into the sun
If you should return to me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings and
fly Butterfly" She suddenly blinked, her head swarming with thoughts of
"him".
Kiyone: Uh oh, here we go with the air quotes she is so well known for.
>Her gaze returned to the
bracelet in her hands as she pulled it close to her heart. Small crystal white
tears trickled slowly down her face
Yosho: Malon likes this crystal stuff doesn’t she?
>as her body shuddered
with uneasy feelings. "What is wrong with me?" "Why am I still
upset about the breakup that happened between us ten years ago?" Malon
asked herself softly. "Is it that I'm still in love with him?" "Have
I really not gotten over him?"
Kiyone: You know, I think Link must be a carrier of something like the
T-Virus.
Gohan: T-Virus?
Kiyone: Named after Tenchi it’s the virus that causes most any female
to fall instantly in love with the carrier.
I seem to be the only one with immunity to it for some reason. I guess I’m just special.
Karade: Either that or your just not into guys.
Kiyone: What! *The screen switches to a cartoon picture of a man
holding up a sign saying “We are experiencing technical difficulties, ah who am
I kidding. We F***ed up!” Screams can be heard from the
background. After a few minutes the
camera cuts back to the theater, Kiyone, Yosho, and Gohan are sitting in there
seats. Karade is lying in a heap on the
floor. Fenrir walks down to check on
him.*
Fenrir: You know, it’s been my experience that people only get this
defensive over stuff that is true. *The little cartoon man once again appears
on the screen holding his sign. After a
few more minutes the camera cuts back to show Fenrir also lying in a heap on
the floor. Yosho and Gohan have backed
off from Kiyone.*
Kiyone: What the hell are you two looking at! Let’s get back to the fic.
>"Oh Goddesses this
cannot be happening!" Malon cried as she came to the realization that she
indeed was still in love with Link. "Oh gods
Yosho: *Raises hand to point out that Hyrule was created by three
goddesses.* Of course she ignores all of the other canon information so why not
that as well.
>why do I still have
these damn feelings?" "He has moved onhe has already found and
married another." "I didn't feel this way when I sung for him at his
wedding, but why the hell am I feeling them now?"
Kiyone: It’s called a plot device dear.
>"Why.just why can't
I seem to break free of these empty feelings still wrenching my saddened
heart?"
Gohan: Who is she talking to anyway?
>She questioned
herself again as she closed her big blue eyes
Yosho: And they never opened again.
She had died of a broken heart.
THE END!
Kiyone: Sadly no.
Fenrir: *Stumbles to his feet and makes his way back to the stage.
>and let her
thoughts move to the day he called it to an end.
Kiyone as Malon’s thoughts: Well it’s been fun, but we really have to
be moving on.
>She remembered
that it was a clear blue day, the sun high up
Karade: *Climbing to his feet and retaking his seat.* Is that a drug
reference?
Kiyone: Nice to see your awake.
Now are you going to be a good little boy?
Karade: Yes my lady.
Kiyone: See that you are.
>as a gentle breeze
blew threw the trees
All: Ahhhh! There it is!
Yosho: It’s LQ’s trademark error!
“Threw instead of through.”
Gohan: Why doesn’t she ever correct that?
Kiyone: If she changed then it would be an admission that she was
wrong. And if she was wrong about
something so simple then she wouldn’t be able to say that she was a so much
better writer than everyone else.
Gohan: But Fenrir is always saying that he is the greatest writer in
the universe.
Karade: Yeah, but he doesn’t really mean it. It’s just a joke to him. While he’s certainly not the worst, he’s far
from being the best.
>of Hyrule Field. A
messenger had come from the Kokiri Forest with word that Link wished to speak
with her with the utmost urgency.
Yosho: The Kokiri can’t leave the forest or they die, and I never
remember seeing any humans there so . . .
>At first she thought
Link was in trouble, but she soon realized that it was more then that. When she
arrived at Link's house(who was eighteen at the time)
Kiyone: Link’s house was eighteen?
>inside Kokiri Village,
her worst nightmare was about to come true. When she looked into his eyes, the
eyes that usually shimmered a deep blue were now dull and like ice.
Karade: Uhh, ice isn’t really all that dull, it’s shinny usually.
>At that point she could
tell that she was going to hear something she was not going to like.
"Malon I'm glad you're here." "I have something I really need to
tell you." She eyed him with a worried stare before he spat the words that
were going to change her life forever.
Yosho as Link: I am afraid I have to abandon you. I have found a new girl with a “Sleek and
Sexy” body. You understand right?
>"Um.MalonI don't
quite know how to explain this." "I know that we have been together
for quite some time now, but I feel that our love is not what it used to
be."
Kiyone: Ever since our love turned into a giant tomato, well it just
hasn’t been the same.
>It was with those words
Malon knew that it was all going to end. "I feel that the flame between us
has slowly flickered out and it's just not the same." " I just don't
think I have the same feelings for you as I once did." "I hate to say
thisbut feel we should
Yosho: Huh?
Kiyone: I think there is supposed to be an “I” after but, but I’m not
sure.
>end this, but even
though that there will be not love interest between us, I still care for you as
a friend." "Maybe just maybe there could be something between us
later in time..
Yosho: Translation: As soon as I can get rid of psycho girl I will be
right back.
>but just not now."
Those were the words she dreaded to hear and it was those words that caused her
world to shatter around her.
Gohan: Was she going into a fight?
Kiyone: What?
Gohan: Well in some video games, the screen shatters right before a
battle.
>She took off crying,
leaving Link behind as he pleaded for her to come back, but she blocked them
Yosho: “Them?” Link and who?
>out and ran home. Her
eyes flung open as she came back to reality. She looked down at the bracelet
again. "What the hell happened to us." Malon questioned herself
"Why did he leave me so. so tattered and torn?" "What did I do
so wrong that caused him to leave me so?" "Where did I go
wrong?"
Karade: You went wrong in going after Jenna’s man. Link belongs to her alone for all eternity,
no one else.
>"I have
learned that beauty Has to flourish in the light Wild horses run unbridled
Karade: *Shudders*
Yosho: What’s the matter Karade?
Karade: Well I once read this fic where Malon and the horses . . . well
I’ll leave it to your imagination.
>Or their spirit dies You
have given me the courage To be all that I can And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're Ready to land" Memories of when they met
begun to race threw her mind now. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The
memories of those days always tasted like heaven, tasted like the sweet honey a
bee makes.
Kiyone: What the hell does that mean?
>She never forgot the day
when they met in Hyrule Market as ten year olds. He was so cute in his green
clothes with that blue fairy floating around his head.
Yosho: Didn’t they meet outside of Hyrule castle?
>She even
remembered the name she used to call him..Fairy Boy.
Karade: Only later would she find out that her father was the real “fairy.”
>She never thought too
much of him then.but something inside her snapped when he showed up at Lon Lon
Ranch seven years later as a fully grown handsome adult.
Kiyone: Was it her spine?
>When she first saw
him mounted on Epona,
Karade: *Bursts out laughing.*
Kiyone: Pervert!
>the first thing that
came into mind, was that he was the one she met as a child.the Fairy Boy from
the forest, but when she looked into those eternal blue eyesthe eyes that
always made her body swoon,
Yosho: Yes, watch out for Link and his death ray eyes.
>she knew at that point
it was love. She remembered the long pause between them as they stared deeply
into each other's eyes and the stuttered words that soon followed. And it was
soon after that, they fell in love and got together.
Kiyone: Eh? What about Zelda?
Yosho: For some reason most lemon writers tend not to write about
Zelda.
>For a while all seemed
well. The love between them was strong, so strong that they even experienced
sharing a "special part" of each other.
Karade: *Twitch* Gee, I wonder what that means.
>She remembered the first
time they shared the most sacred thing two people can share. She remembered it
like it was yesterday,
Yosho: Then she remembered that it was yesterday, boy was Jenna going
to be pissed.
>the feeling left behind
a certain glow around her. And it was the feel of his lean muscular body naked
against hers that left a strong feeling of a lingering desire behind in her own
body,
Kiyone: So what is this implying?
That Link is the first one to win the race and then the day is done?
Karade: Well that was convoluted.
>leaving her with
the longing to taste his honey once more.
All: HONEY!?!
Karade: *Waves the “What the Hell?” flag*
Yosho: I’ve lived for many years and I’ve never heard it called honey
before.
>Then it all seemed to
end in a blink of an eye. One thing she knew she was the happiest person alive,
then the next thing she knew her whole world was crashing down on her.
Gohan: That must have hurt.
>She got up off the bed
and walked over to the mirror once more and stared into the image that was
looking back at her. "How could Link leave me so...alone." She
questioned the image in the mirror. "Why did he abandon me?" He face twisted
into a scowl as she remembered the feeling after he told her it was over.
"He did this on purpose, I can see it now. He had to!"
Yosho: So at last she figured it out.
Link did it to save Malon from the wrath of psycho girl.
Karade: We of course aren’t insulting the author, just the character
that represents the author.
>"I mean, what else
could he have done to leave me so...so stricken and confused!" "It's
not even that, he even once said that there just might have been a chance for
love again.. a chance to rekindle the flame between us, but did I ever get that
chance "Spread your wings and prepare to fly For you have become a
butterfly
Yosho: So is this like one of those Greek myths where the spurned lover
transforms into an animal?
>Fly abundantly into the
sun If you should return to me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings
and fly Butterfly" She shook her head.
Karade: And it fell right off.
Kiyone: Okay, enough with that type of joke.
>"No I didn't, I
never got that chance!" "Now I'm left with nothing.nothing but a
broken heart." "To this day I have been asking myself what I did so
wrong for him to have left me like this, but I have yet to get the answer I seek."
Karade: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you won’t drink
urine or have sex with tigers. Link
really seems to be into that kind of stuff now.
>"But maybe it was
more, maybe I have been blinded in some way." "Was Link really that
unhappy and I was so blinded by love that I didn't notice he was slowly
slipping away from me?" "Was I so caught up in myself I didn't see that
the flame between us was slowly dying?"
Karade: I would like to see someone slowly die.
Kiyone: *Clears her throat.*
Karade: Of course I’m not going to say who.
>"I guess I will
never know, but one thing I do know, I was negligent to his happiness."
"But even in light of all that has happened I'm still in love with
him." "I've tried to convince myself I was over him, but in reality I
wasn't."
Kiyone: Haven’t we been over all of this a couple dozen times already?
Yosho: I think it’s just that they want to make sure we get the point
that Malon is still in love with Link.
>"Even to his
day
Gohan: “To his day”? Huh?
>I still long for him,
the feeling taking over my mind every waking day." "I cannot help the
way I feel, it's not something I can just throw away that easily."
"Maybe I'm just clinging onto a useless hope, maybe I'm hoping for the
impossible, but one thing I do know, I have been lost without him ever since
that day..the day he left me so..alone.
Kiyone: Oh get over it. There
are other guys.
Yosho: Actually if you’ve seen Hyrule you know there really aren’t that
many more.
>"I can't pretend
these tears Aren't overflowing steadily I can't prevent this hurt from Almost
overtaking me But I will stand and say goodbye
Karade: About time.
>For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly" "So spread your wings and
prepare to fly For you have become a butterfly Fly abundantly into the sun
Yosho: Abundantly into the sun?
Karade: *Once more waves the “What the Hell?” flag.*
>If you should return to
me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings and fly Butterfly"
"By the goddesses, I'm doing it again!"
Kiyone: Talking to your self for a few hours? Yes, your doing that.
>"I just don't
understand it, not at all."
Karade: I haven’t understood much of anything in this entire fic.
>"After all, if I am
so disappointed in Link, then why can't I forget him?" "Why are these
feelings still plaguing me?"
Karade: Why are we still being plagued by this fic. Does this crap ever end.
Yosho: Remain calm. We are
almost to the end.
>"Sigh"
"Maybe its just because I'm finding it so hard to let go..to let go of the
one person that I truly loved."
Kiyone: Well he clearly didn’t have much of a problem letting you go.
>"So flutter through
the sky, Butterfly," "God how I'm going to miss those blue eyes, the
ones that always twinkled when he stared with them into mine, the ones that
always shimmered with loving glances."
Yosho: *Banging his head on the seat in front of him.* We get the damn
point! Link’s eyes are made of crystal.
>"Maybe I'm
just fantasizing,
Kiyone: Kind of like another certain girl.
>but I will never forget
those eyes for as long as I live." "Perhaps, I have come to the
realization that Link indeed became a butterfly
Karade: Right . . . Hey Malon,
can I have some of that stuff your smoking?
>and needed to know what
it felt like to fly," "Spread your wings and fly, Butterfly,"
Perhaps since he did not return to me..then maybe we weren't meant to be
"Butterfly"
Kiyone: Gee, you think?
>Well what did ya
think?
All: It sucked!
>Yay Nay?
Karade: Nay!
>Well pleases tell
me what ya thought,
Yosho: Well this MST ought to let you know what we think.
>I'm dying to know.
Karade: *Darkly* Oh, you’ll be dying alright
>I think I'm
getting better at these song fics.
Gohan: If this is better then I’m really scared to see what the earlier
ones were like.
>I kinda find those to be
the easier ones to write, but I need feedback on just how good you think they
are.
Karade: I give it a nine.
Others: *Stare at Karade*
Karade: Out of 100.
>Thanx,
Kiyone: There she goes with the street talk again.
>-Link's Queen
*Karade starts to make a comment before Kiyone reminds him they are not
supposed to be directly attacking the author.*
Yosho: I think she needs a lesson on how monarchies work. Link would only be king if he married
Zelda. If he married anyone else then he
doesn’t get any royal titles.
Kiyone: Well anyway, it’s over.
Let’s get the hell out of here.