*Fenrir appears on the stage. Karade, Yosho, Gohan, and Kiyone enter and take their seats.*
Fenrir: Today we have our greatest challenge before us. We’ve MSTed many bad fics in the past. Today we MST something by the legendary bad fic writer, Link’s Queen.
All: *Gasp in horror.*
Fenrir: Yes, I know. It’s scary just to think about reading one of her fics. But, we must do this. We must contribute to the battle against this evil force.
Yosho: By “We” you mean the four of us right?
Fenrir: Right. What? You didn’t think I was going to stick around for this did you?
Yosho: Oh no, I have heard of these, she rambles on for pages, and pages with these.
>I have done it again. ^_^
Kiyone: Wrote another one of your disturbing stories?
>I'm right back at it. This is my 3rd song fic
Karade: Oh great, a song fic. What fun
>based on another one of Mariah Carey's songs called "Butterfly"
Kiyone: So Mariah Carey has several songs called “Butterfly?”
This one is focusing on Malon's feelings for Link.
Yosho: What! You mean someone else is allowed to have feelings for Link? That’s amazing in an LQ fic.
>How the relationship they had just didn't seem to work out. She's going to explain how they met and fell in love, but then it seemed that his love for her slowly started to slip away over time.
Gohan: Like a certain person’s mind?
Yosho: No that went quite quickly.
>Now its been 10 years since they were together,
Kiyone: Uh, oh. I wonder what is meant by “together.”
Yosho: Don’t worry about that. Of course Link would never do anything with anyone except Jenna.
>(This is after Link defeated Gannon but he did not go back in time)
Kiyone: Yeah, stupid Ocarina of Time telling us all those lies.
>but it seems that Malon now 28 years old,
Karade: Yeah, it seemed that way, but she was really 30.
>still feels something for him, she found it hard to let him go then, but does she have to let him go again, even though he has found and married another?
Yosho: Well considering how possessive Jenna is of Link I am guessing that Malon is screwed.
>Rated PG 13
Kiyone: You mean this isn’t a lemon?
Karade: No drinking of each other’s urine! Yay!
>for adult langue
Gohan: What’s adult “langue?”
Kiyone: Uh, I have no idea.
>and themes. Disclaimer: Ok I know I do not own Malon, Link or any of the other Zelda peeps.
Yosho: So is LQ trying to be from the hood now or something?
>They belong to Nintendo (Though I wish I owned Link hehehe)
Karade: But I thought that Link came into Jenna’s room every night and entered her “lucid dreams.”
>But I however do own Jenna and any another chars
Kiyone: My thesaurus gives it as “brand” as in branding cattle. So I have no idea.
>in this story that are not found in Zelda, so don't use them without my permission. I'm just using the Zelda peeps for my stories.
Yosho: Without Nintendo’s permission.
>Butterfly EMBED Pbrush
Karade: *Waves his “What the Hell?” flag.*
Kiyone: Is that supposed to be slang or something? I guess we just aren’t really super cool like LQ and get all of these words from the street.
>A lesson learned in letting go.
Yosho: Someone needs a lesson in letting go for sure, not naming names of course.
>The sky was setting off tones of deep pink, and lavender,
Gohan as sky: *Sets off fireworks.*
>the sun nearly fading from the horizon as Malon was ushering the last two horses into the stables for the night.
Karade: Shouldn’t Malon be having sex with the horses? I mean, remember who wrote this.
Kiyone: Now, now. Remember, we are supposed to not attack the author, just the fic.
>It had been a long day and she was tired. After she secured the last two horses into their stalls, she walked out of the barn, latched the doors shut then went into the house.
Yosho: Ahhhh! The run-ons.
>Ingo was busy cooking dinner while her dad, Talon was upstairs getting cleaned up. She decided to go upstairs herself and clean up as well before dinnertime.
Karade: How considerate of her. She takes care of horses all day and then she decides to wash up when she’s done.
>She went into her room and stood in front of her vanity and begun to brush her long reddish blonde hair. Malon watched as the image in the mirror mimicked everything she did,
Yosho: *Smacks his head* It’s a mirror! Of course that’s what it’s going to do.
>right down to the twinkle that reflected from her crystal blue eyes.
Gohan: Were they magic crystals?
>She ran the brush down the full length of her hair, stopping for a moment after every few strokes.
Karade: Are we sure this isn’t a lemon?
>When she finished, she sat the brush down and proceeded to walk to the bathroom, when something caught her eye. There on the nightstand sat something that always gave her bad memories.
Karade: Was it a LQ fic?
Kiyone: *Smacks Karade* Don’t insult the author! Just the fic!
>She walked over to it and picked up a gold bracelet made with Triforce links
Gohan: So were those links in the shape of Trifoce’s? Which let’s face it just makes them triangles.
>lined with diamonds that Link had given to her when they were together.
Yosho: Again with this “together” part. I kind of doubt that Link would be giving something made of gold and diamonds to some “friend” I think someone just doesn’t want to admit that her imaginary boyfriend might have been with someone else before her.
>She gave the bracelet a scornful look
Karade: I’m sure that the bracelet had it’s feelings hurt.
>as she walked over to the bed and sat down. Turning the bracelet over, she read the inscription that was engraved on the underside. "To my love Malon." "I love you always."
Kiyone: Well, since Shibby isn’t here. Why fic talk like Tarzan?
>Her face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the day Link gave it to her. He gave it to her just days before he "broke it off" with her.
Yosho: Of course it wasn’t his fault. This psychotic girl put a gun to his head and said that he was going to be her girlfriend. He either had to break it off with Malon or she might have ended up dead.
>His excuse was that he felt as if the flame between them had slowly flickered out and that his feelings for her were just not the same anymore. She remembered how long she cried that night, she practically cried herself to sleep.
Gohan: Good thing she didn’t though, she might never have woken up. *Ominous music plays*
>Then for the next few days, it seemed as if her heart had totally fallen out of her chest, the feelings she had for him still lingered strong inside her.
Karade: That wasn’t all that was lingering inside of her.
Kiyone: That’s sick and disgusting you know.
Karade: What can I say? I try.
>Every time she saw him after that, she would breakdown and cry, it even happened more then once in the Market, causing her to feel like a total ass.
Kiyone: Uhh, I could understand if she was embarrassed maybe, but that doesn’t make any sense.
>But she held strong, held onto a hope that he would return to her, return to the love they once shared. "When you love someone so deeply They become your life It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside Blindly I imaged I could Keep
Kiyone: Why is “keep” capitalized?
Yosho: Who knows?
>you under glass
Karade: She want’s to keep Link under glass? Well that’s disturbing.
>Now I understand to hold you I must open my hands And watch you rise"
Karade: *Bursts out laughing.* Are we one 100% sure this isn’t a lemon?
>"Spread your wings and prepare to fly For you have become a butterfly Fly abundantly into the sun If you should return to me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings and fly Butterfly" She suddenly blinked, her head swarming with thoughts of "him".
Kiyone: Uh oh, here we go with the air quotes she is so well known for.
>Her gaze returned to the bracelet in her hands as she pulled it close to her heart. Small crystal white tears trickled slowly down her face
Yosho: Malon likes this crystal stuff doesn’t she?
>as her body shuddered with uneasy feelings. "What is wrong with me?" "Why am I still upset about the breakup that happened between us ten years ago?" Malon asked herself softly. "Is it that I'm still in love with him?" "Have I really not gotten over him?"
Kiyone: You know, I think Link must be a carrier of something like the T-Virus.
Kiyone: Named after Tenchi it’s the virus that causes most any female to fall instantly in love with the carrier. I seem to be the only one with immunity to it for some reason. I guess I’m just special.
Karade: Either that or your just not into guys.
Kiyone: What! *The screen switches to a cartoon picture of a man holding up a sign saying “We are experiencing technical difficulties, ah who am I kidding. We F***ed up!” Screams can be heard from the background. After a few minutes the camera cuts back to the theater, Kiyone, Yosho, and Gohan are sitting in there seats. Karade is lying in a heap on the floor. Fenrir walks down to check on him.*
Fenrir: You know, it’s been my experience that people only get this defensive over stuff that is true. *The little cartoon man once again appears on the screen holding his sign. After a few more minutes the camera cuts back to show Fenrir also lying in a heap on the floor. Yosho and Gohan have backed off from Kiyone.*
Kiyone: What the hell are you two looking at! Let’s get back to the fic.
>"Oh Goddesses this cannot be happening!" Malon cried as she came to the realization that she indeed was still in love with Link. "Oh gods
Yosho: *Raises hand to point out that Hyrule was created by three goddesses.* Of course she ignores all of the other canon information so why not that as well.
>why do I still have these damn feelings?" "He has moved onhe has already found and married another." "I didn't feel this way when I sung for him at his wedding, but why the hell am I feeling them now?"
Kiyone: It’s called a plot device dear.
>"Why.just why can't I seem to break free of these empty feelings still wrenching my saddened heart?"
Gohan: Who is she talking to anyway?
>She questioned herself again as she closed her big blue eyes
Yosho: And they never opened again. She had died of a broken heart. THE END!
Kiyone: Sadly no.
Fenrir: *Stumbles to his feet and makes his way back to the stage.
>and let her thoughts move to the day he called it to an end.
Kiyone as Malon’s thoughts: Well it’s been fun, but we really have to be moving on.
>She remembered that it was a clear blue day, the sun high up
Karade: *Climbing to his feet and retaking his seat.* Is that a drug reference?
Kiyone: Nice to see your awake. Now are you going to be a good little boy?
Karade: Yes my lady.
Kiyone: See that you are.
>as a gentle breeze blew threw the trees
All: Ahhhh! There it is!
Yosho: It’s LQ’s trademark error! “Threw instead of through.”
Gohan: Why doesn’t she ever correct that?
Kiyone: If she changed then it would be an admission that she was wrong. And if she was wrong about something so simple then she wouldn’t be able to say that she was a so much better writer than everyone else.
Gohan: But Fenrir is always saying that he is the greatest writer in the universe.
Karade: Yeah, but he doesn’t really mean it. It’s just a joke to him. While he’s certainly not the worst, he’s far from being the best.
>of Hyrule Field. A messenger had come from the Kokiri Forest with word that Link wished to speak with her with the utmost urgency.
Yosho: The Kokiri can’t leave the forest or they die, and I never remember seeing any humans there so . . .
>At first she thought Link was in trouble, but she soon realized that it was more then that. When she arrived at Link's house(who was eighteen at the time)
Kiyone: Link’s house was eighteen?
>inside Kokiri Village, her worst nightmare was about to come true. When she looked into his eyes, the eyes that usually shimmered a deep blue were now dull and like ice.
Karade: Uhh, ice isn’t really all that dull, it’s shinny usually.
>At that point she could tell that she was going to hear something she was not going to like. "Malon I'm glad you're here." "I have something I really need to tell you." She eyed him with a worried stare before he spat the words that were going to change her life forever.
Yosho as Link: I am afraid I have to abandon you. I have found a new girl with a “Sleek and Sexy” body. You understand right?
>"Um.MalonI don't quite know how to explain this." "I know that we have been together for quite some time now, but I feel that our love is not what it used to be."
Kiyone: Ever since our love turned into a giant tomato, well it just hasn’t been the same.
>It was with those words Malon knew that it was all going to end. "I feel that the flame between us has slowly flickered out and it's just not the same." " I just don't think I have the same feelings for you as I once did." "I hate to say thisbut feel we should
Kiyone: I think there is supposed to be an “I” after but, but I’m not sure.
>end this, but even though that there will be not love interest between us, I still care for you as a friend." "Maybe just maybe there could be something between us later in time..
Yosho: Translation: As soon as I can get rid of psycho girl I will be right back.
>but just not now." Those were the words she dreaded to hear and it was those words that caused her world to shatter around her.
Gohan: Was she going into a fight?
Gohan: Well in some video games, the screen shatters right before a battle.
>She took off crying, leaving Link behind as he pleaded for her to come back, but she blocked them
Yosho: “Them?” Link and who?
>out and ran home. Her eyes flung open as she came back to reality. She looked down at the bracelet again. "What the hell happened to us." Malon questioned herself "Why did he leave me so. so tattered and torn?" "What did I do so wrong that caused him to leave me so?" "Where did I go wrong?"
Karade: You went wrong in going after Jenna’s man. Link belongs to her alone for all eternity, no one else.
>"I have learned that beauty Has to flourish in the light Wild horses run unbridled
Yosho: What’s the matter Karade?
Karade: Well I once read this fic where Malon and the horses . . . well I’ll leave it to your imagination.
>Or their spirit dies You have given me the courage To be all that I can And truly feel your heart will Lead you back to me when you're Ready to land" Memories of when they met begun to race threw her mind now. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The memories of those days always tasted like heaven, tasted like the sweet honey a bee makes.
Kiyone: What the hell does that mean?
>She never forgot the day when they met in Hyrule Market as ten year olds. He was so cute in his green clothes with that blue fairy floating around his head.
Yosho: Didn’t they meet outside of Hyrule castle?
>She even remembered the name she used to call him..Fairy Boy.
Karade: Only later would she find out that her father was the real “fairy.”
>She never thought too much of him then.but something inside her snapped when he showed up at Lon Lon Ranch seven years later as a fully grown handsome adult.
Kiyone: Was it her spine?
>When she first saw him mounted on Epona,
Karade: *Bursts out laughing.*
>the first thing that came into mind, was that he was the one she met as a child.the Fairy Boy from the forest, but when she looked into those eternal blue eyesthe eyes that always made her body swoon,
Yosho: Yes, watch out for Link and his death ray eyes.
>she knew at that point it was love. She remembered the long pause between them as they stared deeply into each other's eyes and the stuttered words that soon followed. And it was soon after that, they fell in love and got together.
Kiyone: Eh? What about Zelda?
Yosho: For some reason most lemon writers tend not to write about Zelda.
>For a while all seemed well. The love between them was strong, so strong that they even experienced sharing a "special part" of each other.
Karade: *Twitch* Gee, I wonder what that means.
>She remembered the first time they shared the most sacred thing two people can share. She remembered it like it was yesterday,
Yosho: Then she remembered that it was yesterday, boy was Jenna going to be pissed.
>the feeling left behind a certain glow around her. And it was the feel of his lean muscular body naked against hers that left a strong feeling of a lingering desire behind in her own body,
Kiyone: So what is this implying? That Link is the first one to win the race and then the day is done?
Karade: Well that was convoluted.
>leaving her with the longing to taste his honey once more.
Karade: *Waves the “What the Hell?” flag*
Yosho: I’ve lived for many years and I’ve never heard it called honey before.
>Then it all seemed to end in a blink of an eye. One thing she knew she was the happiest person alive, then the next thing she knew her whole world was crashing down on her.
Gohan: That must have hurt.
>She got up off the bed and walked over to the mirror once more and stared into the image that was looking back at her. "How could Link leave me so...alone." She questioned the image in the mirror. "Why did he abandon me?" He face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the feeling after he told her it was over. "He did this on purpose, I can see it now. He had to!"
Yosho: So at last she figured it out. Link did it to save Malon from the wrath of psycho girl.
Karade: We of course aren’t insulting the author, just the character that represents the author.
>"I mean, what else could he have done to leave me so...so stricken and confused!" "It's not even that, he even once said that there just might have been a chance for love again.. a chance to rekindle the flame between us, but did I ever get that chance "Spread your wings and prepare to fly For you have become a butterfly
Yosho: So is this like one of those Greek myths where the spurned lover transforms into an animal?
>Fly abundantly into the sun If you should return to me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings and fly Butterfly" She shook her head.
Karade: And it fell right off.
Kiyone: Okay, enough with that type of joke.
>"No I didn't, I never got that chance!" "Now I'm left with nothing.nothing but a broken heart." "To this day I have been asking myself what I did so wrong for him to have left me like this, but I have yet to get the answer I seek."
Karade: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you won’t drink urine or have sex with tigers. Link really seems to be into that kind of stuff now.
>"But maybe it was more, maybe I have been blinded in some way." "Was Link really that unhappy and I was so blinded by love that I didn't notice he was slowly slipping away from me?" "Was I so caught up in myself I didn't see that the flame between us was slowly dying?"
Karade: I would like to see someone slowly die.
Kiyone: *Clears her throat.*
Karade: Of course I’m not going to say who.
>"I guess I will never know, but one thing I do know, I was negligent to his happiness." "But even in light of all that has happened I'm still in love with him." "I've tried to convince myself I was over him, but in reality I wasn't."
Kiyone: Haven’t we been over all of this a couple dozen times already?
Yosho: I think it’s just that they want to make sure we get the point that Malon is still in love with Link.
>"Even to his day
Gohan: “To his day”? Huh?
>I still long for him, the feeling taking over my mind every waking day." "I cannot help the way I feel, it's not something I can just throw away that easily." "Maybe I'm just clinging onto a useless hope, maybe I'm hoping for the impossible, but one thing I do know, I have been lost without him ever since that day..the day he left me so..alone.
Kiyone: Oh get over it. There are other guys.
Yosho: Actually if you’ve seen Hyrule you know there really aren’t that many more.
>"I can't pretend these tears Aren't overflowing steadily I can't prevent this hurt from Almost overtaking me But I will stand and say goodbye
Karade: About time.
>For you'll never be mine Until you know the way it feels to fly" "So spread your wings and prepare to fly For you have become a butterfly Fly abundantly into the sun
Yosho: Abundantly into the sun?
Karade: *Once more waves the “What the Hell?” flag.*
>If you should return to me We truly were meant to be So spread your wings and fly Butterfly" "By the goddesses, I'm doing it again!"
Kiyone: Talking to your self for a few hours? Yes, your doing that.
>"I just don't understand it, not at all."
Karade: I haven’t understood much of anything in this entire fic.
>"After all, if I am so disappointed in Link, then why can't I forget him?" "Why are these feelings still plaguing me?"
Karade: Why are we still being plagued by this fic. Does this crap ever end.
Yosho: Remain calm. We are almost to the end.
>"Sigh" "Maybe its just because I'm finding it so hard to let go..to let go of the one person that I truly loved."
Kiyone: Well he clearly didn’t have much of a problem letting you go.
>"So flutter through the sky, Butterfly," "God how I'm going to miss those blue eyes, the ones that always twinkled when he stared with them into mine, the ones that always shimmered with loving glances."
Yosho: *Banging his head on the seat in front of him.* We get the damn point! Link’s eyes are made of crystal.
>"Maybe I'm just fantasizing,
Kiyone: Kind of like another certain girl.
>but I will never forget those eyes for as long as I live." "Perhaps, I have come to the realization that Link indeed became a butterfly
Karade: Right . . . Hey Malon, can I have some of that stuff your smoking?
>and needed to know what it felt like to fly," "Spread your wings and fly, Butterfly," Perhaps since he did not return to me..then maybe we weren't meant to be "Butterfly"
Kiyone: Gee, you think?
>Well what did ya think?
All: It sucked!
>Well pleases tell me what ya thought,
Yosho: Well this MST ought to let you know what we think.
>I'm dying to know.
Karade: *Darkly* Oh, you’ll be dying alright
>I think I'm getting better at these song fics.
Gohan: If this is better then I’m really scared to see what the earlier ones were like.
>I kinda find those to be the easier ones to write, but I need feedback on just how good you think they are.
Karade: I give it a nine.
Others: *Stare at Karade*
Karade: Out of 100.
Kiyone: There she goes with the street talk again.
*Karade starts to make a comment before Kiyone reminds him they are not supposed to be directly attacking the author.*
Yosho: I think she needs a lesson on how monarchies work. Link would only be king if he married Zelda. If he married anyone else then he doesn’t get any royal titles.
Kiyone: Well anyway, it’s over. Let’s get the hell out of here.