*Fenrir appears on stage and the MSTers enter to the theme song of Outlaw Star, “Through The Night” and take their seats.*
Kiyone: Hey Fenrir, before we begin can we ask you something?
Fenrir: Uh, sure. What is it?
Yosho: Well Fenrir, most of the other MST teams have a spaceship that they fly though the universe.
Karade: And frankly we want a spaceship to.
Fenrir: A spaceship! And just where am I supposed to find the money to buy us one of those. At least you all have a theater. Genocide and company are just locked in a basement!
Kiyone, Yosho, and Karade: *Grumble*
Fenrir: Well anyway, today I have yet another e-mail that I received.
Kiyone: So what does this guy want? The last one wanted advanced time traveling technology.
Fenrir: I think, and let me restate that, I think, that this guy just wants money, but I could be mistaken. The e-mail is awfully strange. The really scary thing is that this isn’t spam. Mine was the only e-mail address in the header.
All: *Unenthusiastically* Yay.
>>ATTN: THE BENEFICIARY
Kiyone: Nooo! Not another idiot who is overeager to use the caps lock.
Yosho: And who is “The Beneficiary?” Sound like some pro wrestling name.
Karade: *Screaming* This Sunday On PAY PER VIEW!!! The Beneficiary takes on the mammoth Man In Spandex!
>>Dear Sir, Your contact
Yosho: Contact? Fancy way to say e-mail address.
>>was discretely sourced
Kiyone: Do I even need to mention that “sourced” is not a word?
Yosho: No that’s okay, we know.
>>for among others with respect to your position as an international acclaimed personality;
Kiyone: Fenrir’s an internationally acclaimed personality?
Karade: What can this guy see into the future or something?
Yosho: I mean sure, WE all know that Fenrir is destined to save the world from the forces of unholy darkness, but he really hasn’t done anything yet to be famous for.
>>and we decided in your favour
Yosho: Must be British.
>>as a partner for this business proposal bearing in mind that you are of an outstanding reputation to usher you in as the beneficiary.
Kiyone: E-Mail no make sense. No use good suffixes.
>>However, I repose
Kiyone: The thesaurus gives it as to rest or sleep. So who knows.
>>every confidence in you concerning your status by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential
All: *Clutching their heads.* This makes no sense!
>>and with the believe
Kiyone: “with the believe”. . . Yup.
>>that you could be fully trusted to handle this business with the degree of confidence it deserves.
Yosho: What business are we talking about?
Karade: I don’t think we want to know.
Karade: A freak?
Yosho: A psycho?
Kiyone: Someone who failed basic English?
Gohan: Someone dumber than me?
>>MR. IFEANYI DANIELS
Kiyone: Okay. . . So we think this guy is from England and he has a nice normal English last name, but where is “Ifeanyi” from?
>>an Audit Manager
Yosho: Audit?! Fenrir, have you not been paying your taxes?
Fenrir: I swear I gave the government every penny it deserved.
Yosho: So basically you haven’t?
>>with the FEDERAL MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM & NATURAL RESOURCES
All: Quit screaming at us!
>>under the Contract Tender Committee.
Yosho: Normally I would question anyone with a title that has fifteen words in it, but this is a government we’re talking about, they most likely just gave it to him to kill a few more trees.
Gohan: Wow, Fenrir really doesn’t like governments does he?
Kiyone: Quite Gohan! If we get him started on a political tirade we’ll be here for the next twelve hours!
Fenrir: Yes! One day I will destroy all of the governments of the world and establish the Council.
Yosho: Hey Fenrir? Here’s an anti-Sakyua site that Karade found.
Fenrir: Ohhhh. *Steals Karade’s computer and starts to look through site his speech forgotten.*
>>My colleagues and I in the corporation need the services/assistance of a competent,
Kiyone: Well I guess that disqualifies Fenrir.
Kiyone: Another thing to disqualify Fenrir.
Kiyone: Oh, three strikes and your out!
Fenrir: Listen woman, do you want me to write a Kiyo/Miho lemon?
Kiyone: Sorry, I’ll be good.
>>foreigner or company into whose account the sum of US $6,000,000M (Six Million United States Dollars)
Yosho: Thanks for clarifying that. I might not have understood that “US $” would mean United States Dollars.
>>would be remitted before the Deregulation of the Oil sector.
Karade: Well I know this is Kiyone’s job, but I would just like to point out that “deregulation” and “oil” don’t need to be capitalized.
>>This fund originated from a deliberate over-estimation of contracts that was awarded by the Ministry
Yosho: “Deliberate over-estimation?” Sounds sort of like Enron.
>>to foreign companies for drilling, excavation and spot lifting of black gold
Karade: Texas Tea
Yosho: Then the kin folk said Jed move away from there.
Gohan: So they backed up their bags and move to Beverly, Hills that is.
Kiyone: Damn we’re a strange group.
>>(Crude oil) in Portnovo located in the tiny Republic of Benin.
Karade: Sadly a real place. We could of had a lot of fun if it hadn’t been.
>>Since, they are not members of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Country,
Kiyone: Well since Benin is in the Western part of Africa I wouldn’t really expect it to be in OPEC.
>>they requested for our Ministry's (Federal Ministry of Petroleum & Natural Resources)
Kiyone: Yeah, you already told us about your little “ministry.”
Gohan: At least this time they weren’t screaming at us.
>>assistance. This fund has been lying unclaimed at the Accounts Department of the Ministry because it has neither a beneficiary nor any file with the corporation.
Fenrir: Well while we are talking about corporations. I would like to mention the “Happy Fun-Fun Time Corp.” The finest provider of Biological and Chemical weapons, Mind Altering Drugs, and Ice Cream for hundreds of years.
>>It is within this framework, that we have resolved to usher you in as the beneficiary of this fund by Legally subcontracting the entitlement to you or your company based on agreement with you.
Karade: *Waves “What The Hell?” flag.*
>>Moreover, the need to contact you or your company is deemed fit because the contracts were executed by foreign firms and the money cannot go into indigenous accounts
Yosho: Well of course. That makes perfect sense.
>>because the Code of Conduct (COC)
Karade: *Bursts out laughing*
Kiyone: *Reads last line again. Sighs* Pervert. . .
>>of the Federal Civil Servants here (Nigeria)
Yosho: Okay so I guess this guy isn’t from England. Since Fenrir’s ancestors were from England I bet he will be happy to hear this. *Fenrir is still looking at the website on Karade’s computer.*
>>restrict us to a certain level of Banking facilities which does not allow us to operate a Domiciliary account; however, it is imperative to usher you in as a foreign partner so as to avoid suspicion
Kiyone: Hmmm, you know, if I didn’t know better I would think these people were trying to do something illegal.
>>from unconcerned quarters
Yosho: And what about unconcerned pennies and dimes?
>>and most importantly, for fear of loosing our jobs.
Kiyone: “Loosing” = Not a word!
>>Meanwhile, the original contractors of these projects had since collected their supposed payments accordingly after the commissioning of their works.
Karade: Can we go back to the guy who wanted Fenrir to send him time travel equipment? That guy made more sense than this stuff.
>>Now, we want to remit this over-estimated amount to a reliable overseas account for our personal use
Yosho: Huh? I thought they were giving this money to Fenrir?
>>and for investments opportunities. All the certificates and proper documentation to effect the transfer shall be provided to you for your perusal upon your pledge to do this business with us.
Kiyone: Yeah, I mean if they have documentation it just has to be legal.
>>Subsequently, your support will enable us make applications and lodge claims to the Ministry's Agencies enabling you to fit in as the beneficiary for the claims.
Gohan: So once Fenrir does all this stuff, then you pay him. Right. . .
>>Please, be informed that this business is closely knitted
Karade: Like a sweater?
>>and 100% hitch free
Kiyone: Oh yes, we believe you.
>>and so entails absolute confidentiality and in case you are not interested to assist, keep it to yourself.
Yosho: So by sending us out of MST this Fenrir kind of broke this little part.
>>Your quick response upon your Expression Of Interest (EOI)
Kiyone: Hmmm, inappropriate acronyms. Check.
>>will enable me stop further search for a beneficiary. Reply through email for further briefing on how to commence this transaction.
Yosho: Let me guess, you are going to require a large chunk of money up front right?
Karade: Most likely, I ran a scam like this a few years back.
>>I look forward to hearing from you and your cooperation would be highly acknowledged.
Yosho: I thought they wanted to keep this all hush-hush?
>>Best regards, MR.IFEANYI DANIELS