And now, a word or two from Slinky Avenger:


I found this on Fan, by a guy named “Ninjor.” It…it
really sucks, quite honestly. There are more chapters, but I’m
only MSTing this one. I learned my lesson.

I posted this on a more “grown-up” forum, so the expletives have been edited for your protection. This MST is effectively rated PG-13 for language and various other mildly offensive content.

Kudos to Granamyr for inspiring me to MST, hee-hee…enjoy!

::He-Man unceremoniously tosses Skeletor, Evil-Lyn and Beast Man into
the MST room, and slams the door tight.::

Skeletor: This is an OUTRAGE!
Evil-Lyn: “Outrage”? More like “travesty.”
Beast Man: We could at least get *paid* for suffering through this
Skeletor: ::darkly:: Let’s see what we’re being made to read *this*

The New Heroes

Skeletor: Oh, New and Improved, with a Fresh New Flavor!
Evil-Lyn: Yeah, about as “improved” as Crystal Pepsi.
Skeletor: ::shivers:: Oooh, you’re wicked.

By: Sonny Iverson (Ninjor)

Chapter 1

Skeletor: Dear God, don’t tell me there’s more than one part to

As he lay in bed, Sonny felt an vacant spot next to him.

Evil-Lyn: I see a vacant spot in his *head*.
Beast Man: Can I create a vacant spot in his chest?

It had been five months that him
and Natalie

Skeletor: I’m sorry…who?
Evil-Lyn: Frig if I know….

had been married and they now had a baby on the way.

Beast Man: I hope they went with Federal Express, because UPS is sooo
bad with fragile packages!

She was at least four months
along now and was now starting to show.

Evil-Lyn: “At least”?
Skeletor: Scandalous! I smell sex out of wedlock!
Beast Man: ::sniffs:: I don’t smell anything.
Skeletor: ….

Sonny was as happy as a school boy.

Skeletor: I’m not even *touching* that one.

He had a dead
feeling that it would most likely be twins.

Beast Man: Dead feeling…? Like an “I see dead people” sort of dead
Evil-Lyn: More like a “people are going to want me dead at the end of this fic” kind of feeling….
Beast Man: …oh.

He stood up and found his love by the balcony looking
over court yard of the Palace, which was now they're permeant home.

Skeletor: “They’re”?
Evil-Lyn: “Permeant”?
Beast Man: ::rolls eyes:: The Grammar Nazis ride again….

“Morning Baby.” he said to
her as he kissed her on the lips. “Morning Sweetheart.” she said
back returning his kiss.

All: ::gag!::

“How are
you this morning?” he asked. “Actually I feel better than the other
mornings.” she said calmly.

Evil-Lyn: [ Natalie ] I only puked 9 times instead of 12!

“Good.” he said kissing her neck. “Don’t start you.” she
warned. “Since when is it illegal for me
to kiss your neck?” he asked confused.

Beast Man: [ Ninjor ] Yeah, I thought you called back all those
restraining orders!

“Since you got me pregnant.”

Skeletor: That was obviously *not* what she wanted for Christmas.

she said like a smart ass.

Beast Man: [ Pimp Voice ] Damn, ho! Best not be talkin’ like dat!
Skeletor: [ Pimp Voice ] Where mah mon-ay at, beee-yoottch!?
Evil-Lyn: [ Ho Voice ] ::squeal:: I’ll getcha mon-ay!

“Oh.” he said putting on one of his many uniforms that the Sorceress
had made for him,

Skeletor: Oh, the Sorceress is a seamstress, too?
Beast Man: Keen.
Skeletor: …did you just say “keen”?
Beast Man: …no.

all of
them were black.

Evil-Lyn: Can’t go wrong with basic black.
Skeletor: ::snorts:: Purple is *so* much better….

“Now where do you think you are going?” she asked as he put on his

Skeletor: [ Ninjor ] To go knock off a 7-11…have you seen my
lucky paper bag?

Grayskull, I got to go meet Shelley.” said Sonny grabbing his sword.

Beast Man: Shelley? Who’s that?
Evil-Lyn: Random Made-Up Character #754.
Beast Man: Oh.

“Oh no, you’re not
anywhere.” she said as she pulled him back into bed.

Skeletor: Groowwl. Frisky.
Evil-Lyn: Wait…weren’t they just on the balcony?
Beast Man: Shhhh…it’s getting good!
Evil-Lyn: ::rolls her eyes:: Oh, brother.

“You are staying home today, I’m feeling
good and you're not going to step foot out that door.” she said
putting her foot down. “OK, you
win.” he said as he picked his sword up and started to kiss Natalie
lightly on the lips.

Skeletor: FINALLY! A little bit of NC-17 action is what this fic
Beast Man: ::drools::
Evil-Lyn: ::mutters::

At Grayskull,

Skeletor: …hey! Wait! What happened to the sex!? ::frantic::
Beast Man: What happened to the entire *scene*!?
Evil-Lyn: Heh….

“Where is Sonny?” said Adam to the Sorceress as they waited for the
arrival of
Sonny's sister Shelley from earth.

Skeletor: ::mutters mutinously:: He-Man is getting a call from my
lawyer after this….

“I wish I knew.” said the Sorceress about to open a portal to
earth. “I think I know where he’s at, let me go check and see.” said
Adora who was now married
to Sea Hawk

Evil-Lyn: …uh, so that’s *two* marriages.
Beast Man: Sea Hawk? ::snicker::

and 3 months pregnant.

Skeletor: …and *two* pregnancies. Damn!
Beast Man: Must be something in the water.
Skeletor: Like Viagra.

“Adam, come in.” came a voice over Adam's and Adora's
wrist communicators. "This is Adam, what is it?" "Hey bro, tell
Shelley I’m not going to be able
to go meet her at Grayskull cause Natalie’s got me grounded." said

Evil-Lyn: Grounded? Do I even want to know?
Beast Man: In all likelihood…no.

"Oh, and why is that?"
"Cause, I don’t spend enough time with her." "Oh man, you are going
to be in trouble." "Hey,
she'll understand." "She knows that you and Natalie are married and
got a baby on the way?"
"Well, uh, I plan to tell her."

Skeletor: Holy ****ed-Up Dialogue, Batman!
Evil-Lyn: ::cringes:: Has he even *heard* of paragraphs?

"Sonny, you are in deep trouble now, you know that if she finds
out that she is going to tell your parents." said Natalie in the

Beast Man: …tell your parents? How old are these people!?

"I know, I might just
make up a lie."

Evil-Lyn: As opposed to, you know, making up the truth.

"Hey!" yelled Natalie in the background.

Skeletor: Yes. I believe we’ve *established* that Natalie is,
indeed, in the background.

"If she doesn’t like it, then that’s her
problem." "Yea, but baby, if my parents find out, I’m dead."

Beast Man: What, are his parents deadly assassins?

"Sonny, take her advice, if Shelley
doesn’t like it then oh well." "OK, well, I got to go, Ninjor
out." "Bye." said Adam.

Skeletor: I…don’t have words.
Evil-Lyn: ::snort:: Neither does Sonny.
:: all snicker nastily ::

sounds like Sonny's got his hands full." said Shelley stepping from
behind the portal. "Uh oh, I
think Sonny's in trouble." "You bet he is, take me to him, I heard
the whole thing." said

Beast Man: Uhhhh….
Evil-Lyn: Try not to think about it…you’ll hurt yourself.

Chapter 2

Skeletor: ::aggravated sigh:: A whopping *four* paragraphs for the
first chapter? Sonny, you’ve outdone yourself.

At Snake Mountain,

Evil-Lyn: Oh! That’s us!
Beast Man: I don’t think I’d be looking forward to this, Lyn.
Evil-Lyn: …you have a point.

"Skeletor, you have been cowering from He-Man and Ninjor

Skeletor: Wait. *And* Ninjor?
Evil-Lyn: Duh. Ninjor is like, 5 million times more powerful than
He-Man. Didn’t you know?
Skeletor: Must’ve missed that memo.

for five
months now, I am very displeased with you." said Horde Prime.

Beast Man: ::snicker:: Does that mean Horde Prime and Skeletor are
Evil-Lyn: ::giggle:: Which one of them is pregnant?
Skeletor: ….

"If you would have seen those
suits they had and how bad they demolished mine and Hordak's suits
you would be cowering
too." said Skeletor boldly.

Evil-Lyn: You’re so bold.
Skeletor: Thank you.

"Then I have no choice but to remove your position in my services,
meet your replacement." said Horde Prime.

Skeletor: Ack! I’m being fired!?
Evil-Lyn: You don’t even work for Horde Prime…uh…do you?
Beast Man: ::holds head:: GArrggllee! My brain!

"Hello Skeletor. Remember me?" hissed a sinister
voice. "King Hiss." said Skeletor horrified.

"Yes, I have returned with my army from that time
trap that I was put in by He-Ro." said Hiss "And now, I'm taking
back over Snake Mountain."

Skeletor: …Riiiiggghhhhht.

"Find, I know when I'm not wanted." said Skeletor.

Beast Man: [ Skeletor ] I didn’t want to live in this stinky ol’
mountain ANYWAY!

"Oh and Skeletor, I'm also taking your
henchmen as well." said Hiss.

Evil-Lyn: ::winces:: Oh, talk about kicking a man while he’s down….

"Find, take them, I know where I'll go." said Skeletor as he headed

Skeletor: …the liquor store?
Beast Man: …the strip club?
Evil-Lyn: …Taco Bell?

Grayskull to talk to the Sorceress.

Skeletor: Uh…what?
Beast Man: Maybe she has a degree in psychology….

"Let's see, everything looks right." said Sonny. "Baby, you
seen…OH GOD!"

Evil-Lyn: Wow, he finally must’ve realized what a ****ing s****y
piece of CRAP it is that he’s writing…!

said Sonny as he
saw Shelley standing there looking ****ed.

Evil-Lyn: ::sighs:: Or not.

"Hi Shelley. You're here kinda early, aren't you?"
said Sonny praying that she hadn't found out. "Boy, when did you
plan on telling us that you were
married and had a baby on the way?" said Shelley ****ed.

Skeletor: [ Southern Hick Accent ] Best b’tellin’ me quick
*boy*, ‘fore I give y’all a CHURCHIN’!

"Uh, when I was 21." said Sonny.

Beast Man: …he isn’t even 21 yet!?!
Evil-Lyn: Dear God!
Skeletor: …ew.

"Well, I'm not going to tell mom and dad, so consider yourself
lucky." said Shelley as she saw
Natalie. "Is this the wife?" she asked.

Skeletor: [ Ninjor ] Yeah, but only on Tuesdays.

"Yeah." replied Sonny. "Hi Natalie, how you been?"

Evil-Lyn: Who just spoke? ::scratches head::
Skeletor: ::sighs:: Does it *really* matter?
Evil-Lyn: No, I suppose not.

And you?" said Natalie as they started to talk about everything.

Beast Man: MASTERFUL writing technique….

Mean while at Grayskull, "Sorceress, I must talk with you." yelled
Skeletor outside of

Skeletor: ::groans and puts his head in his hands:: Why? WHY?
Beast Man: Karma.

"What about Skeletor?" replied the Sorceress.

Evil-Lyn: [ Skeletor ] Do you have a cup of sugar I can borrow? I’m
trying to make cookies….
Skeletor: ::glare::
Evil-Lyn: ::whistles innocently::

"I wish to join the forces of good. I
have left my evil ways." said Skeletor.

Skeletor: ::makes choking noises::
Evil-Lyn: Euurgh….
Beast Man: It will be a cold day in hell when I hear Skeletor say

"I do not believe you."

Evil-Lyn: [ Sorceress ] **** off, ******!

"I'm serious Sorceress." said
Skeletor in a calm voice.

"Then wait, I will lower the jaw-bridge and come speak with you."
the Sorceress as she left the castles window.

Skeletor: …you mean it’s been *that* easy all along!? ::bangs head
against the wall::

"I hope she can help." said Skeletor to himself. As
the jaw-bridge lowered, Skeletor walked up to the Sorceress and
hugged her as if she were an old

Skeletor: EUUUGHH!!!!!
Evil-Lyn: I think I’m going to be ill!
Beast Man: I already *am* ill….
Skeletor and Evil-Lyn: Ewww….
Evil-Lyn: I am SO not cleaning that up.

"I have come.

Skeletor: …heh.
Beast Man: …hehehehehe.
Evil-Lyn: Perverts.

What is it that you wish to discuss?" said the Sorceress. "I would
like for
you to make me a good person again." said Skeletor.

All: WHAT!?

"What?!" said the Sorceress shocked.

Skeletor: See! Even the *Sorceress* thinks this is bull****!

"Please Sorceress, you have to help me. I'm tired of being evil, not
only that, but Horde Prime
gave King Hiss my job." said Skeletor.

Evil-Lyn: [ Sorceress ] What do I look like, a temp
agency? ::throws the classified section at Skeletor:: Get a job,
you bum!

"I well call Zodak, he is the only one that can help." said
the Sorceress sending a telepathic message to Zodak to come to
Grayskull. "I am here Sorceress.
What is the problem?" said Zodak calmly.

Beast Man: [ Zodac ] Besides being stuck in the horrible fic,

"I, Skeletor, wish to be made good again." said

Skeletor: Again!? I was *never* good!
Evil-Lyn: Never?
Skeletor: NEV-ER EV-ER!!
Evil-Lyn: Yeeek, okay!

"I now see why. Skeletor, the balance of good and evil will be even
now that you wish
to become good. Go, it is done." said Zodak as he bathed Skeletor in
a white light.

Skeletor: AUurRRGghh! It tastes like BURNING!

When the
light cleared, Skeletor was changed, his evil spirit was gone from
him, his armor was now gold,
his cross-bone breast plate changed into the symbol of a red, equal-
arm cross.

Skeletor: So now, basically, I look like a pansy.
Beast Man: Yup.
Skeletor: ::sigh::

"Thank you
Zodak." said Skeletor as Zodak left. "Now to tell He-Man and Ninjor
that I have changed." said

Evil-Lyn: I…no comment.

"I can only contact He-Man, Ninjor's kinda busy." said the
Sorceress as she sent the
message to Adam at the palace.

Beast Man: [ Ninjor ] ::watching paint dry:: Whoa. Deep.

"Hey Adam, you look like you are hiding something from me."
said Teela as she looked him in his eyes. "I'm not Teela." said Adam.

Skeletor: [ Teela ] Why must you turn this palace into a DEN OF

'Adam, He-Man is needed
at Grayskull.' said the Sorceress. "Sorry Teela, got to run." said
Adam starting to talk like Sonny.

Beast Man: Oh, wow. Ninjor is so cool even *He-Man* emulates him!

"That man." exclaim Teela in discus.

Skeletor: …nuh-uh.
Evil-Lyn: TOO easy.
Beast Man: Like buttah.

"Cringer, we're needed at Grayskull, the Sorceress has to
talk to He-Man." said Adam as he pulled out his sword. "By the Power
of Grayskull!" he
shouted. Lighting struck the sword and bathed Adam in a white light.
It twisted his molecules
and turned him into He-Man.

Skeletor: [ He-Man ] Ahhhh, my molecules! HOW THEY WRITHE!

"I Have the Power!" He-Man shouted as he pulled the sword to his
chest with both hands. He then pointed the sword at Cringer and a
light came out of it turning
Cringer into Battle Cat. "Let's go Cat." exclaim He-Man mounting
Battle Cat as they headed for

:: all snore ::

"He-Man is on his way." said the Sorceress to Skeletor who was
looking at his Power
Sword now knowing it was no longer evil. "Good." said Skeletor
thrilled to tell his former enemy
that he was now good.

Skeletor: Power Sword? What? ::pats himself down:: Where?
Beast Man: Maybe under your cloak?
Skeletor: Evil-Lyn, be a dear and frisk me, would you?
Evil-Lyn: ….
Beast Man: Bleh. Get a room.

"So, this is what you do on your time off, ay brother." "Basically."
said Sonny drinking a
Root Beer.

Evil-Lyn: Root beer?
Beast Man: Well, he isn’t 21 yet….
Evil-Lyn: Riiiighhht.

"I can't believe it, you going to be a father, good Lord, where did
mom and dad mess
up?" said Shelley jokingly.

Skeletor: …by ever conceiving him?
Beast Man: Oh, harsh.

"Forget you." said Sonny. "Baby, you seen the iron?" asked Natalie.

Evil-Lyn: They live in the *palace*…don’t they have servants to
do things like that?

"I think Man-at-Arms borrowed, no telling what that crazy *******
did to it."

Beast Man: Does Duncan have an iron fetish that we don’t know about?

said Sonny
throwing away the empty can.


"OK, I guess I'll iron my dress later." said Natalie hanging up her
silk, blue dress that Sonny liked.

Skeletor: [ Pimp Voice ] ***** BEST be wearin’ th’ threads I be

"Now who bought her that?" asked Shelley curiously. "Me.

Beast Man: [ Ninjor ] I’ll buy THAT for a dollar!

had told me she had wanted it and I liked it cause it was silk and
it looked good on her. It was
expensive through." "How expensive?" "Like fifty gold coins, which
on earth is like 50 thousand

Evil-Lyn: …if I had known that, I would’ve gone back to Earth a
LONG time ago.

"Got Damn, that's a lot of money." "I know, but hey, I got like
1,000,000 gold pieces, so
I'm doing pretty well." said Sonny smiling. "Actually baby, we got
5,000,000, I got it from the
queen, she said to use it for the baby." said Natalie. "The queen
gave you 6,000,000 gold coins?
Damn!" said Sonny pleased to hear the news. "So one gold coin is
worth 1,000 bucks on earth,
give me five of them." said Shelley. "Ok, here." said Sonny handing
her five gold coins. "Thanks
brother. Nanny's going to freak if she hears that you are a multi-
millionaire." said Shelley with
a grin on her face. "Don't tell her, cause then she'll want to
borrow something like $5,000 worth
of gold coins." said Sonny. "I won't tell her." said Shelley as she
walked in the room to get her
purse. "Well, let me get back, momma's got Amber and I got stuff to
do at home. Bye boy." said
as she went back to Grayskull.

Skeletor: ….
Evil-Lyn: ….
Beast Man: ….
Skeletor: OH.
Evil-Lyn: MY.
Beast Man: GOD.
Skeletor: What the ****!? With the…the money and…! NYARrghHHh!
Evil-Lyn: ::curled up in a ball in the corner, whimpering::
Beast Man: ::drooling vacantly::

He-Man was just arriving at the castle when he saw Shelley leave
through the portal running
but not knowing why.

Skeletor: *I* know why….
Beast Man: Because she read this @$$-tacular fan fic?
Skeletor: ::pokes where his nose ought to be:: Bingo.

It wasn't until he saw Skeletor that he understood why she was
"Stop right there Skeleto…" He-Man's words were cut off when he
saw Skeletor's new look and
aditude. "What is the meaning of this? Is this a trick?" said He-Man
shocked. "It is no trick
He-Man. I have decided to join you in your fight to protect Castle
Grayskull." said Skeletor
offering He-Man his right hand as a sign of friendship.

Beast Man: [ He-Man ] Oh, GROSS! Put your hand back on, you sick
Skeletor: [ As himself, with a foreign accent ] In my country it is
custom to be giving others limbs!

"Is this true Sorceress?" "Yes He-Man, it
is." said the Sorceress. With that being said, He-Man took
Skeletor's hand in friendship and
began to talk about why he had left.

Evil-Lyn: ::twitch:: If this doesn’t end soon…I fear I may do
something *drastic*.

Back at the palace, "Sonny, what would you have done had He-Man not
brought you here to
Eternia?" asked Natalie lying in her husbands arms. "I would
probably be out trying to find a job
and not doing a damn thing, why?" said Sonny kissing her forehead.

Skeletor: Out finding a job….
Beast Man: But still not doing a damn thing. Yup.
Skeletor: ‘K.

"Cause I had a dream last
night about what would have happen had you not come when you did and
confessed your love
for me." said Natalie sadly. "Oh. And what was the outcome?" said
Sonny. "Well, you sorta got a
record deal and you also did a lot of stuff, and I stayed single and
never dated anyone." said
Natalie looking at him with her beautiful eyes. "Oh." said Sonny as
he kissed her on the lips.

All: ::VOMIT!::

Chapter 3

All Three: NOoooOOoo!

At Snake Mountain, "Alright you little *****es,

Skeletor: Crank eet up, ******erz!!

I'm here to stay till we defeat that idiot
He-Man and his little ninja friend. Any question?" said King Hiss
with his snake men army
looking over Skeletor's goons.

Beast Man: Yes. Can I die now?
Skeletor: No.
Beast Man: Dammit!

"I am loyal to Skeletor, Hiss, not you." said Evil-Lyn standing up
for Skeletor.

Skeletor: ::pinches Evil-Lyn’s cheeks:: Such a pwecious widdle
Evil-Lyn: ::fumes::

"Well, if you don't like it, then you can follow him back to the
good life, cause
that's where he's gone."

Evil-Lyn: Oh! With cake and lemonade and party hats?

"Then that's where I'm going." said Evil-Lyn as she stormed out of
Mountain for Castle Grayskull to meet up with the former Lord of

Skeletor: ::mutters:: “Former”? What does that make me now?
Beast Man: The Prince of Petunias?
Skeletor: ::fries Beast Man into a sizzling mass of fur.::
Beast Man: …or not….

Back at the Palace, "Ninjor, would be as kind to leave your wife for
a moment and step out
here, there's someone who wants to meet you." said He-Man peeking
his head in. "OK, let me get
my mask on." said Ninjor slipping his mask on and walked out the
door. "Hello Ninjor." said

Skeletor: We meet again! For the last time for the first time…
again…wait. ::mumbles and counts on his fingers::

"Oh no Bone-Brain, you ain’t going to get me." said Ninjor pulling
out his sword on

Evil-Lyn: [ Ghetto Voice ] DAAMMNNN, B! I be poppin’ a cap in yo’ @$$ if y’all don’t rep’sent!

"Release He-Man from your mind control or I will do it in a messy

Beast Man: This intense dialogue is *really* starting to get to me.

"Oh my
dear Ninjor, I am no longer evil, I have returned to good." "Yeah
right. Release him now." said
Ninjor holding his sword up to Skeletor's neck.

Skeletor: Yes! PLEASE! KILL ME!

"Ninjor, come see." said He-Man pulling him

Skeletor: [ He-Man ] Step into my office!
Beast Man: [ Ninjor ] Why—?
Skeletor: [ He-Man ] ‘Cause you're ****in’ FIRED!

"Sonny, I'm not brain washed, he's telling the truth for once, you
didn't notice the
breast-plate?" whispered He-Man to Ninjor. With that Ninjor saw the
red equal-arm cross on
Skeletor's armor.

Evil-Lyn: So being good is simply a matter of attire?
Skeletor: Exxccellleennntt…. ::begins plotting and cackling to

"Son-of-a-*****." said Ninjor to himself.

Beast Man: Heh…well as long as you can admit it to yourself….

With that he sheathed his sword and
walked over and shook Skeletor's hand. "Sorry Skeletor, I guess I
was still thinking about what
you did to Natalie five months ago.

Skeletor: Wasn’t that when she got pregnant?
Beast Man: Hah hah! You rascal.
Evil-Lyn: Skank.
Skeletor: Oh, I think you’re *jealous*.
Evil-Lyn: I was calling *you* a skank.
Skeletor: …you’re mean.

Speaking of which, I'm still deciding on a Godfather, who
would you recommend baby?" said Sonny to Natalie as she stepped
outside and saw Sonny
shaking Skeletor's hand and she fainted.

Evil-Lyn: [ Natalie ] Oh my God, it WASN’T a dream!

"Oh boy." said Sonny. "Don't worry, Teela did the same

Beast Man: She did…? ::scans through fic:: Uh, when?
Skeletor: ::whispers and points:: Offstage!

"Well, you just received another new allie." said a female voice
from behind them.

Evil-Lyn: ::sighs:: I spoke a spelling error. Woe.

"Evil-Lyn." said Skeletor surprised. "Yes, I'm following you
Skeletor, I can't stand the way Hiss
treats us." she said in a sweeter, kinder voice.

Beast Man: Heh, well—
Evil-Lyn: DON’T even speak.
Beast Man: Bu—
Evil-Lyn: Shh!
Beast Man: ::pouts::

"Well, looks like we got two new friends on our
side." said Ninjor in surprise.
"So, you two have finally turned to the side of good and right, huh
Skeletor?" said King
Randor. "Yes your highness, we have come to help you fight King
Hiss." said Skeletor in a polite

Skeletor: I’ll be drinking tea and having crumpets with Marlena,

"Ninjor, have you consented to this, being that you are second in
command of the Royal
Guard and of the Heroic Warriors." asked Queen Marlania. "Yes,
although I have to admit, it was
hell trying to wake Natalie up out of her fainting spell." said

Beast Man: What does that have to do with ANYTHING!?
Evil-Lyn: ::starts to frantically pat herself down:: Must…find…
Skeletor: ::waggles brows:: Can I frisk *you*?
Evil-Lyn: …no.
Skeletor: You ruin *all* my fun.

"What do you say Captain
Teela?" asked King Randor. "I consent with Ninjor." she said
dryly. "Very well, Skeletor, I here
by consent to having you in Heroic Warriors, if that suits you He-
Man." said King Randor.

Evil-Lyn: How many times *can* they use the word consent improperly?
Beast Man: As many times as they want.

"Looks like you have some training to go through in being heros."
said He-Man to them. "We're
ready." they said at the same time. "Oh boy, and I thought all the
train was over for this year."
said Ninjor.

Skeletor: Training…? Jesus Hopping Christ on a Pogo
Stick…. ::tries to impale himself with his Havoc Staff::

Chapter 4

Evil-Lyn: My eyes! THEY BLEED!

"Ok, let's get started. I want yall to run two laps around this
track, it will help you with
your speed." said He-Man giving the new heros orders. As he had
ordered, they took off pacing
themselves around the five mile track.

Beast Man: So to train to become a hero…you have to run track?
Evil-Lyn: A five-*mile* track, no less.

Ninjor was sitting down on a small bench remembering
the time He-Man made him do all of that. "You like to make people
run, you know that." said
Ninjor to He-Man. "Hey, you are the one who makes people do 50 katas
a day smart guy." said

Skeletor: ::rolls non-existent eyes:: Oh, the author must be a
martial artist! He said “katas”!
Evil-Lyn: ::deadpan:: I am overcome by his magnificence.

"Hey, it's not my problem you have no patience for perfecting your
skill." said Ninjor
with a good laugh at He-Man's look on his face when he couldn't say
anything. "I hate you" he
finally said. "Oh you hate me huh? Well, shall we duel again, or did
you forget that lesson too?"
said Ninjor reminding him of how he beat his butt at a duel when he
first got there.

Beast Man: Ninjor beat in He-Man’s butt?
Skeletor: Well, he was still Prince Adam at the time.
Evil-Lyn: And asleep.

despicable." said He-Man walking out.

Beast Man: [ He-Man ] Sufferin’ Succotash! This fic stthhucks!

"Hey, I was just clowning." said Ninjor, but He-Man just
kept on walking. "Hey guys, take a break till I get back!" yelled
Ninjor at Skeletor and Evil-Lyn.

Skeletor: ::sarcastic:: I’m certainly winded after the whole 2
minutes I was running.
Evil-Lyn: ::sarcastic:: I bet…we’re both scrawny mages, remember?
Skeletor: HA! I’m ripped like *Jesus*! ::flexes::
Evil-Lyn: ::blinks::
Beast Man: ::sigh::

As he ran after He-Man, Ninjor thought about how him and He-Man had
never fought like this
before. When he caught up with him, Ninjor saw the look on his face
that said to leave him the
**** alone. "Ok, I'm sorry. Forgive me?" said Ninjor. "Alright, but
no more wise cracks like
that." said He-Man shaking Ninjor's hand.

Beast Man: ::points:: Oh! OH! Did you see it!?
Evil-Lyn: See what?
Beast Man: The character development!
Evil-Lyn: ::squints then shakes her head:: Nope…missed it.
Beast Man: Damn.

Chapter 5

Skeletor: Uh…THAT was a short chapter. ::quickly:: Not that I’m
complaining, mind you.

"Ok, it's time to attack. Everyone know's the plan?" said Hiss. "Yes
your majesty." said
Kobra Khan.

Beast Man: Kobra Khan is everyone? Man, talk about downsizing….

"Good, load up the dimensional transporter into the Collector, it's
time we sent
He-Man and the others into another dimension." said Hiss with an
evil laugh.
"Ok, you're ready to go." said He-Man as Skeletor and Evil-Lyn, who
still hadn't thought of
a good name for herself, finished their training.

Evil-Lyn: …I already *have* a name.
Skeletor: But you have “evil” in your name. You’ll have to change
it, if you’re being a good guy.
Evil-Lyn: Nyrgh.

"Ninjor, come in, this is Teela." said the
voice over Ninjor's wrist communicator. "This is Ninjor, what's
wrong?" "King Hiss is attacking
the Palace. He's already sent most of the guards, the King and
Queen, Adora, and your wife into
another dimension. Please hurry before…." the voice was cut off.

Skeletor: And then they all died! THE END!!!!
Evil-Lyn: ::twitches::
Beast Man: I tried that last time and it didn’t work….

"Teela?" said Ninjor shocked.
"Seems like we all got a job to do now." said He-Man as he saw
Ninjor stand there holding in his
anger, then exploding yelling his wife's name. "Let's get that
*******." he said drawing out his
sword. "By the Magic of Grayskull!" he shouted as lighting struck
the tip of his sword. "I have
the Power!" he yelled ending the transformation with his sword ready
to kill.

Skeletor: WHAT.
Evil-Lyn: THE.
Beast Man: ****!?!
Skeletor: Why the hell can he transform!? Christ, why don’t I just
wave my ****ing Havoc Staff in the air and yell “By the Sorcery of
Greyskull”? Apparently any *dumb@$$* can do it.
Evil-Lyn: Deep breaths, Skeletor…deep soooothhiinngg breaths….
Skeletor: ::froths::

As they reached the Palace, He-Man saw Hiss pointing the dimensional
toward their way. "He's spotted us." said He-Man as he ducked the
ray. "Quick, you guys battle
his goons well I have at it with him." said Ninjor to the
others. "Right." they said in response.

As he ran towards Hiss, Ninjor thought of Natalie and hoped she was
alright. "Hey Hiss, you
really messed up now!" yelled Ninjor to Hiss who was about to fire
the ray at him.

Skeletor: [ Ninjor ] Screw you, buddy!

Move." said He-Man as he pushed Ninjor out the way put was too late
to move. He was caught
by the ray.

Skeletor: Oh my God….
Beast Man: …Hiss killed He-Man!

"You *******!" yelled Ninjor as he cut apart the ray.

Evil-Lyn: ::applauds::

"Thanks Ninjor, now you'll never
see your friends and family again. Retreat!" yelled Hiss as he and
his army left. "NO!!!!" yelled
Ninjor as he hit his knees.

Beast Man: …wait! Why are they retreating? Weren’t they *winning*?
Evil-Lyn: Shhhh. Don’t use logic. It has no place here.

"Oh no." said Evil-Lyn. "This can't be happening." said Skeletor.
"You guys stay here and guard the Palace. I'm no longer needed here
if I can't even stop Hiss, if
you need me, contact me. I'm going back to earth, but to talk to
some old friends." said Ninjor
heading for Grayskull. "Good Journey Ninjor."

Skeletor: [ Good Self ] Don’t take too long though, or I’ll have to
marry Evil-Lyn and knock her up.
Beast Man: Ewwww.

said Skeletor as Ninjor left for the year After
Colony 198 to go talk with the Gundam Polits.

All Three: ….
Skeletor: WORST.
Evil-Lyn: FIC.
Beast Man: EVER.

:: the villains run for the hills screaming and beating their heads
with rocks::

That was painful. Hope it made you laugh.