And now for round four of "Exam Stress." These ones may seem a bit more scary then the previous chapters, but there is humor there as well. And in case you arenít in university or college yet, donít worry it will actually be the best time of your life, itís just that you will have to deal with some of the hardest times as well. ^_^


Exam Stress: I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!



You are engaged in a long-running battle with your alarm clock. Every morning it makes a horrible racket and every morning you hit it as hard as you can. It is not yet clear who is winning.

If you were to count up how many hours of sleep you have gotten in the last day it would sound something like this: "Well I got two and a half hours of sleep in bed, 15 minutes in math lab, half an hour before my chem lecture, another half hour _in_ chem lecture, and Iím about to get a half hour more in bio lecture. That works out to oh about four hours and a bit. Plenty of sleep!"

You wish a friend "good luck" as he goes in to write a midterm and he says "Thanks but either way Iím going to fail it. But thatís okay because the class average is going to be 40%"

Letís take a random sampling of the things you have eaten recently: microwave popcorn, pizza, pop, cookies, chips, etc. Well, either you are conducting a malnutrition experiment or you are a university student living in a dorm.

Want to _know_ youíre crazy? Willingly sign up for the opportunity to stay awake from
3am-5am guarding your floorís "grail" from other enemy tribes of "Hobbits." Isnít dorm life _fun_?

Warning: the Surgeon General has determined that staring at a textbook for prolonged periods of time may cause the following symptoms: headaches, nausea, depression, hysteria, maniacal laughter, obsessive eating, the urge to procrastinate, the urge to read fanfics for hours, drowsiness, hyperactivity, stress, paranoia, and the belief that everything is squirrels.

There are four requirements for survival: air, food, water, the internet.

You have fallen asleep: sitting up, in a chair, in bed, at a desk, in front of the TV, on the floor _beside_ the TV, sitting on top of the washing machine, on the bus, at a movie, in a lab, in a lecture. If more than three of those apply to you then there is a really good chance that you are a university student. (I have fallen asleep in ALL of those places)

_Anything_ is possible, provided you are a university student and enough pressure is applied.

Letís see, I could study for 12 hours and end up with a bad headache, or I could pound my head on a wall for two minutes and get the same effect.

I want to know what happened to "1+1"

You start having non-alcohol-induced hallucinations.

Your fingers have learned how to reprogram your alarm clock without actually waking you up. This is a dangerous thing.

You become aggressively territorial about the couch cushion you are using.

Six weeks until summer vacation, six weeks until summer vacation, six weeks until summer vacation.



^_^ Thatís it for now!

As with all previous chapters of this work, ALL of these things are true, all have happened to me, and all of these are my original ideas (with the exception of two that my friends came up with, thankies Laura and Zach!)

Chiad