(A very annoyed-looking girl is sitting in the theatre, glaring at the screen. Next to her is a sixteen-year-old boy with a resigned look on his face. Someone coughs, and the girl looks up.)
Alakarda: *folds hands, looking serious* La-li-ho. Welcome to this...MSTing...place. Today, the fic featured is...very bad. Since I always feel it best to inform the person victimized by a particular fanfiction, I have a guest helper...
Alakarda: Prepare, random people, to witness... “Could you be mine?”.
>>duB: HIYO MINNA SAN!!!! this is my first fic on Gravitation,
Alakarda: O_O Interesting mental image there...
>>oh well I kin of
Alakarda: ...I kin of? I related to? Why is she talking like a caveman?
>>stumbled on this animation and I've started loving it since!
Alakarda: Makes sense. I mean, you can’t very well like something if you don’t know what it is, can you?
>>I mean RYUICHI SAKUMA is SO KAWAII!!!
Alakarda: Yes. Yes he is.
Alakarda: ...Not like THAT! I just think someone should hug him.
>>Ryu-chan: YO MINNA! RYU-CHAN DES KA!!!
Alakarda: Is it just me not speaking very good Japanese, or does
that read “YO EVERYONE! RYU-CHAN IS?”
>>duB: AHH!!!! (see what I mean?)
>>Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation but some of the characters are mine!!!
Alakarda: We get it already!!! You don’t need all the exclamation
>>COULD YOU BE MINE?
Suguru: WHAT? SPEAK UP, I CAN’T QUITE HEAR YOU.
>>It was 3am in the morning,
Alakarda: ...can I say “redundancy”?
Suguru: I don’t know, can you?
Alakarda: *glare* You’re no help at all.
Suguru: Hey, it’s not like I ASKED to do this.
>>despite him being in Bad Luck
Suguru: If I wasn’t in Bad Luck, it would STILL be three in the morning. Thanks for that.
>>, there was no excuse of him to not stop schooling.
Alakarda: “No excuse of him”? Whaaaaaat...?
Suguru:... “Stop schooling”? I’m a teacher now?
>>He had been in NG studios for the last few hours to work on their new album, still he had to complete his homework assignments.
Alakarda: Really? I never bother with homework. Especially not at 3AM.
Suguru: In the morning.
Alakarda: I hate you.
Suguru: I love you too.
>>Life for him was hard, no one really understands him, and he didn't need to
Suguru: Be involved in a fanfic that randomly changes tense? No, I don’t.
>>be understood. In his life, competition was everything, striving for the best was what he wanted more than anything.
Alakarda: (in stereotypical Girl Guides voice) I promise that I will do my best, to love my God and serve my Queen and...something else.
Suguru:...Teacher and workaholic. Yup, she’s got me summed right up.
Alakarda: Well, you do kind of come across as a workaholic, what with the whole “DOWN WITH NITTLE GRASPER!” scene...
Suguru: *sigh* I do my best. That’s how I work. But 3AM? In the morning?
>> He had been used to the 'oohs' and 'ahhs' that came from his classmates.
Suguru: O_O Stop that!
Alakarda: What? It says there that you’re used to it!
>>He was popular in school, either in looks, brains or brawn.
Alakarda: ...Make up your mind. Is he popular in school, looks, brains or brawn?
Suguru: Actually I’m not so good at school...being the only sane member of Bad Luck takes up most of my thinking.
Alakarda: You’re not the only sane member of Bad Luck! What about Hiro?
Suguru: What about Hiro? Didn’t you see the press conference?
Alakarda: Point. *mimics* “Tomodachi!” *snicker*
>> Now, he being in Bad Luck was a much bigger chaos for him, girls would swoon around him like annoying flies
Alakarda: Annoying flies don’t swoon. They buzz. Like this:
Suguru: *cuts her off* We don’t need a demonstration, thanks all the same.
>>and some would literally drool over him.
Suguru: (As OOC Suguru) Ewwww...
>>But, this was all not bothering him, for it was all his own achievements.
Alakarda: I would have thought that having a cloud of girls around
you every second would drag on a bit, myself.
>>In school, some would say that he had all this because he was after all "Seguchi Tohma's cousin".
Suguru: (As OOC Suguru) *sniffle* That’s so not true! I’m gonna go
>>-The next day-
Alakarda: -They all died. The end.-
Suguru: -Great! Let’s go.-
>>"Suguru, would you please
Alakarda: *bitterly* Put me out of my misery?
>>do question no 8d on the board?"
>>In a matter of minutes, the long and complicated arithmetic sum was decoded by Fujitaki Suguru.
Suguru: *looks crestfallen* I thought I was the brainy one...
>>As he went back to his seat, he overheard a conversation of two male classmates of his.
Alakarda: (as one male classmate) I just realized...I’m in love with you.
Suguru: (as other male classmate) Really? That’s great news. I
love you too!
>>"Man he's good!"
Suguru: ^_^ I did wonder...
Alakarda: *scared look*
Suguru: *blithely* It was one night...I was drunk...they took advantage...
Alakarda: O______O What HAPPENED to you?
>>"Yeah right, isn't it because he's SEGUCHI TOHMA'S COUSIN?"
Suguru: No, Tohma does NOT give lessons in how to f***.
Alakarda: *falls out of her seat, looking traumatized*
>>Fujitaki clenched his fist, hard causing his knuckles to turn white.
Suguru: Fujisaki, however, was nowhere to be seen.
>>Kuso, how I wish he'll just shut the F*** up. Thought Fujisaki
Suguru: Why the hell would I stand up for this Fujitaki guy? And can she make up her mind as to whether she’s going to call me Suguru or Fujisaki?
Alakarda: *still in shock*
>>(duB: Hey don't sue me!)
Suguru: I think I will, actually. Someone has to pay to get her *jerks thumb at Alakarda* back to normal.
Alakarda: *faintly* I’m...okay...
>>"Ne, if you're so good, why duncha
Suguru: Give up molesting poor drunk people?
Alakarda: *just starting to recover, gasps and falls over again*
Suguru: Whoops...C’mon, it was just a joke!
Alakarda: *back in shock*
Suguru: *sighs and looks back at the fic*...duncha?
>>do the question yourself?" A voice from the back of the class was heard.
Suguru: And I am sitting where...?
>>Fujitaki, who was
Suguru: Pissed off at being a mere misspelling of my name.
>>previously staring at the floor, looked up to find the source of voice.
Alakarda: *gets back into her seat* I’m fine. Now...you say you were joking.
Suguru: ^_^ Yup.
Alakarda: I’ll murder you for that later.
>>He searched and his eyes landed on a short hair blonde.
Suguru: (as OOC Suguru, AKA “Fujitaki”) Um...whoops. Would ya be a doll and give my eyes back?
>>She had blue eyes which was obvious that she was not a pure Japanese.
Alakarda: Eh? Her eyes weren’t pure Japanese? Should we be looking
for a label that says “Made in China”?
>>The two boys, heard this, was speechless and
Suguru: Changed tense.
>>turned to the other side of the classroom.
The sensei, seeing this, ushered the Bad Luck's keyboardist to go back to his seat.
Alakarda: Heh... “the Bad Luck’s keyboardist”. Makes it sound like your playing is a bad omen.
Suguru: It would explain a lot.
>>Fujisaki nodded and did as his sensei had told him to.
Suguru: He didn’t tell me to do anything. As far as I know, all he’s done is usher me to go back to my seat...whatever that means.
>>-Two weeks later-
Alakarda: -The Author took this fic down.-
Suguru: -In your dreams.-
>>Fujisaki hadn't the chance to get to know the blonde hair
Suguru:...Nani? Teacher, workaholic, student, keyboardist of ill-fortune, and now hairdresser? Why do I have an identity crisis in this fic?
>>girl yet. End of year exams were nearing
Alakarda: I hate that word. “Nearing”? And yet there’s no such word as “faring”. Well, there is, but it doesn’t mean what I think it should be meant to mean, and...YOU’RE CONFUSING ME! *whacks Suguru*
Suguru: Itai! I didn’t do anything.
>>and he had to concentrate on his studies.
>>Seeing that Suguru was day dreaming,
Suguru: (as OOC Suguru) Ah, sweet studies...When can I see you again?
>>Hiro whacked him on the back to wake him up from his daze.
Alakarda: Okay, that is the most PATHETIC excuse for onomatopoeia I have ever read in my life.
Suguru: “POW”? Who said that?
>>"Itai!!! Hiro-san, what was that for?"
Alakarda:...Why would Hiro yell out “POW”? It just doesn’t make sense.
Suguru: And why would it hurt me?
Fujisaki winced in pain.
>>"Gomen, my hand just slipped." He smirked.
Alakarda: 1) Hiro wouldn’t do that to you *indicates Suguru*. 2) Hiro only does that kind of stuff to Shuichi. And 3) Why are you so OOC? Why is Hiro so OOC? SOMEONE ANSWER ME!
>>(duB: yeah rite.get a life.)
Suguru: In a band, dating, putting up with Shindou-san. Good
enough for ya?
>>"Is anything the matter Suguru-san?
Suguru: (as OOC Suguru, whiny) Yeah, Hiro just hit me!
>> Are you okay? You need to see a doctor? You have any problem? Is it too stressful here? Do you want to get a coffee? ARE YOU QUITING BAD LUCK???!!!" An over concerned Sakano.
Alakarda: Sakano isn’t THAT bad...
>>"Iie, Sakano-san, I was just thinking of my homework.
Suguru: (as OOC Suguru) I miss it so much. Y’know, it looks so kawaii when it’s sleeping...
>>Nothing to get worried about." Lied the keyboardist.
Suguru: Who’s Lied the keyboardist? Where have I gone?
>>Although he could was able to bluff Sakano, Hiro was thinking likewise.
Alakarda: He was missing his studies too!
Suguru:...”could was able to”?
>>It's unusual that Fujisaki would
Alakarda: Eat so much ice cream. The freezer’s empty, look!
>> daydream for the last hour
Suguru: In a perfect world, that might be true. But sometimes I can’t help but imagine that I’m in a normal band...
>>. Hiro thought
Alakarda: *prompting* Hiro thought...what? “I like cheese”? “K-san has a gun to Shuichi’s head, oh no”?
Alakarda:...It was a SENTENCE?!
>>Still, they continued their discussion on the song in their new album. It continued
Alakarda: “It continued”? Y’know, the implications...
Alakarda: *gives up* IT! IT! You know, with males, and lots of them, and org-
Suguru: *hastily* I GET IT. Shut up.
>> until it was time way past midnight, just like it use to be.
Alakarda: *bursts out laughing* Oh dear...
Suguru: No! Shut up! I’m only sixteen! I DON’T NEED THIS!
Alakarda: I’m thirteen. What’s your point?
Suguru:...Please don’t mentally scar me?
>>When the band members together
Alakarda: *opens her mouth*
>>with K and Sakano departed from the studio, they spotted Seguchi Tohma
Suguru: And he wasn’t alone...
Alakarda: O_O Nyeeee...
Suguru: ^_^ You deserved it.
>>talking on the phone and leaning against his red Mercedes. Upon seeing the band, the president
Alakarda: Got out a machine gun and started firing at random, laughing manically.
>> of NG studio ended his call and walked towards them.
"Suguru-san, I will be sending you home today, it's late at night
Alakarda: If it’s late at night, why is he sending you home “today”?
Suguru: *sigh* That’s right, send me home at past midnight. Always looks out for me, does Tohma-san.
>>and you still have school tomorrow."
Suguru: (as OOC Suguru) Oh my GOD! School! *dreamy look* Sweet,
>>Suguru stopped at his track
Suguru: I’M A RACER NOW?!
>>and turned to face his 'rival' and cousin.
Suguru: *now sobbing into Alakarda’s shirt* WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME?!
Alakarda: O_O *pat pat* I don’t...hate you...?
>> He was surprised that Seguchi would actually
Alakarda: (as OOC Suguru) Be alive still! I spent money on that arsenic! DIE ALREADY!!
>>offer him a ride back home, not like as if he didn't but lately it was a rare thing.
Alakarda:...I think I speak for the both of us when I say “WHAT THE HELL?”
Suguru: *sob**sniffle* OK, I’m good.
>> Nonetheless, he took the offer as he was too tired to bother about taking
Alakarda: Sleeping pills.
>> public transport and it was also because he knew that things would not be pleasant if he rejected the offer of this man.
Suguru:...Being so late at night, and what with me being his
cousin and all...I don’t think he would actually CARE.
>>On the ride back to his apartment, it was filled with silence.
Alakarda: *bursts into hysterical laughter* There’s the “it” again...
>> Feeling uneasy, Suguru tried to break the silence but
Suguru: It was rock solid.
Suguru: SHUT UP.
>>was interrupted by the driver.
Suguru: How could I be interrupted? I didn’t SAY anything...
>> "Would you get a red color
Alakarda: *_* Blood...
>> CD out of the CD cabinet?"
Alakarda: Okay, what kind of FREAK keeps a CD cabinet in a CAR?
>> The 16 year old complied to it
Suguru: I admit: That’s just disturbing.
>> and inserted the disc into the disc player. But it was not a regular CD, it was more like a VCD, the TV screen flashed (duB: What can I say? He's rich)
Suguru: Yes, he is. But he’s not so stupid as to buy a bloody huge car so that he can watch TV on he way home. Give Tohma-san credit for some sense here!
>> and the screen revealed a girl
Alakarda: Put it AWAY, ‘Sue.
>> who was wearing a mask and was playing her guitar.
Suguru: *fervently* Please, PLEASE say she was wearing something else...
>> It was a live mini
Alakarda: Bar! With free drinks!
>> concert at Ruido, the 'legendary live house' where both Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck had their first concerts.
Suguru: *as news reporter* Coincidence? We think not.
>>The girl had long blonde hair
Alakarda: It can’t be a coincidence that the two girls pop up on the same day. Therefore, I will assume that the girl in class is the same person who’s singing now. Before, didn’t she have SHORT hair? Hair doesn’t grow that quickly!
and was wearing a white tank top and a tight short mini skirt
Alakarda: Phew. So she isn’t just wearing the mask.
>> that was black.
Suguru: *reads the sentence over* A tight short mini skirt that was black...
Alakarda: This sounds too ‘Sue-ish for my liking.
>> She looked beautiful and her mask had made her seem mysterious.
Alakarda: Yep. Mary-Sue. It has all the characteristics of one. Beautiful
girl, rapidly-changing tenses, etc. Betcha she’s got a lovely voice.
>>Watching the singer as she played the guitar and sang to the song,
Suguru: Of course, no good singer sings A song. They all sing TO songs, otherwise it makes too much sense.
Suguru: I’ve disappeared again!
>> was somehow attracted to her voice. It sounded so melodious
Alakarda: Oh yes. Wonderful voice. Mary-Sue.
>> and even when she was singing pop songs, her voice was still peaceful to the ears, unlike the usual pop rock artists whose songs are loud and rowdy.
Suguru: What about “In the Moonlight”? “Glaring Dream”? Hmm?
>>When the show ended, they had already
Alakarda: Committed suicide. The fic was too painful.
>> arrived at Suguru's apartment outside.
Suguru: I have an INDOOR apartment, thank-you-very-much.
>> Fujitaki did not realize but
Alakarda: His name was being spelled wrong.
>> all the while, besides driving, Seguchi was looking at him.
Alakarda: Isn’t that...kind of...dangerous?
Suguru: Hazard. When you’re driving, keep your eyes ON THE ROAD, moron.
>> "Sugoi, she definitely has talent. Who is she?" Suguru questioned, he would love to get to know such a fine artiste.
Alakarda: I’m sure...
>>"She's a new artist that I found, I've signed her."
Suguru: Tohma isn’t that kind of guy! It took him a while to decide whether he would sign Bad Luck or not – he doesn’t go around signing random Mary-Sues!
Alakarda: “I’ve signed her”? What, was she that desperate for an autograph?
>> Tohma replied calmly. Indeed he was astonished at her amazing ability to
Alakarda: Turn Suguru into a dribbling idiot.
>> sing, but it did not surprise him that much since he still thought that Ryuichi was a much better singer.
Alakarda: So at least Seguchi’s kept his head...
>>"Wow, okay." Suguru could only say this as he was really short of words to say
Suguru: Short of words to say...but not short of words to put on flags and wave around! ^_^
>> as he had long heard of NG signing a new artiste but he did not expect it to be a girl.
Alakarda: Wouldn’t he have met her?
Suguru: I mean, NG Studios are very large...but still, I might have run into her at the door or summat? And surely she’d have done a single by now?
>> He knew that NG would sponsor her debut and that even if she was not from his company, his cousin would find ways and means to get her in. That was how his rival works.
Alakarda: You just said Seguchi signed her. Make up your mind.
>>"She's called by the name Mask,
Alakarda: *splutter* MASK?! What the hell kind of name is that?
Suguru: Band name, possibly. But what were the parents smoking when they decided to call their daughter MASK?
>> an interesting girl of course. I found her in one of the pubs singing. She's the same age as you."
Suguru: In a pub? Singing? At sixteen? Unlikely. I wouldn’t, anyways.
Alakarda: Why not?
Suguru: Not such a fool, that’s why. They don’t pay you.
>>Fujisaki could not believe his ears, he was astounded by this sudden discovery. A girl that was the same age as him could make such a big roar in the singing career.
Alakarda: You what? Last I heard, she was singing in a pub. And
even after that concert, no one’s ever heard of her.
>>"Well, why did you show me this? Is there something I need to know about her besides of showing off your new artiste?" Fujisaki said sarcastically.
Suguru: (as Tohma) Yes. You’re going to fall madly in lust with her.
Alakarda: (as OOC Suguru) I see...
>>"Yes, there is something that I have to tell you,
Alakarda: (as Tohma) I’m gay.
>> Mika-san is her manager
Alakarda:...I’m gonna let that slide. Merely because we never find out whether Mika works with Tohma or not.
>> and she has been wondering if you would maybe
Suguru: (as Tohma) *bitterly* Put her out of her misery.
>>work with her on her new album, like composing a few songs or even playing the keyboard.
Alakarda: *snort* Cheapskate. Most artistes compose their own songs. Ask Kanga.
>>I've approved of it but the decision is yours whether you want to work with her. There are also plans that she would be working with Bad Luck, but right now its only you."
Suguru: Quit with the tense-changing already.
>>Fujisaki was elated.
Alakarda: *sidelong glance*
Suguru: No! It’s not me! She’s got me all wrong! I have no time for women!
>> He wanted to work with her, he wanted to work with someone who was
Alakarda: Multi-coloured and made of felt.
>> his own age and not only stick around his band members, sure it was great but he had missed the times where he would work with people of his age.
Suguru: They’re not THAT much older than me...
>> He also wanted to know more about her, how she felt, was she anything like him, striving to work for the best.
Alakarda: Nahh, doubt it.
>>And so, he agreed.
Both: *deadpan* Surprise.
>>-Two days later-
Suguru: -What is with those dashes?-
>>It was a Saturday and he was finally going to meet
Alakarda: His maker...*evil cackle*
>> Mask, and of course along with Mika.
Suguru: What’s so special about THAT? I’ve met Mika-san before.
>> He had made an appointment with Mika the next day after he agreed to the proposal that his cousin had told him about.
Alakarda: Suguru-san...Has Tohma ever asked you to marry him?
Alakarda: Phew. Just checking!
>>Now he was waiting in the restaurant named Zenny's, He had been there since 5pm and had been ordering his twelfth glass of lemonade.
Alakarda: Unless this is translated from Latin, I’m going to assume that there has been more random tense-changing.
>> He had been wondering how she would look like when she came.
Alakarda: Thinking ahead a bit, aren’t we?
Suguru: Dear Kami-sama, help me...
>>"Maybe she has blonde hair, which is obvious and blue eyes and a sweet smile planted on her lips."
Suguru: *lower lip trembles*
>>Slowly in his mind, he pictured her and suddenly,
Alakarda: “Slowly and suddenly”. Ouch.
Suguru: *lower lip trembles again*
>> an image floated over his mind
Alakarda: (a la that guy from “The Wish List”) Floaty floaty floaty!
>>but he shoved it off as he knew it was impossible that it would be her.
Suguru: *shoulders shake, lower lip trembles again*
Alakarda: -I won’t say it...-
>>"Suguru-san, arigato for accepting my request, I thought I would be rejected."
>>"Iie Mika-san, I wanted to do this, besides it might provide as an experience to me." Suguru answered politely.
Suguru: *snaps* WAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! *slumps in his chair, sobbing
>>"Okay, why don't we meet tomorrow at Zenny's, she's part of the school's track team and she has practices on that day since she's having a competition for this coming Wednesday. She can only have a few hours of talk today, after that she has to keep up with a packed schedule. You wouldn't mind would you?"
Alakarda: (as Suguru) No me wouldn’t be minding. I do mind the way
Mika changed tense...
>>"Not at all, I'm also rather busy myself lately and can only squeeze in a bit of
Suguru: *choked voice* Violence...
>>time tomorrow and it is also near my school. How about at 6pm? I believe she must have already released from her activity."
Alakarda: Prostitute-Sue. Don’t see one of THOSE every day.
>> Fujisaki eagerly replied.
>>"That would be great, well I will see you tomorrow then. Jya"
>>-End of Flashback-
>>The thought of seeing her was sending
Alakarda: Hate mail.
>> butterflies into Suguru's stomach. He had never felt this strong attraction to any particular girl except his mother
Alakarda: O_O INCEST!
Suguru: *still sobbing*
Alakarda: *looks over and sighs* C’mon, Suguru-san! Not long now, and then you can cry.
Suguru: *takes deep breaths* I’m...okay.
>>who was overseas with his father on business trips. Speaking of stomach,
Suguru: I wanna throw up.
>> the lemonade that he had drowned down his throat
Alakarda: How do you drown a liquid?
>> had started taking chemical reactions and he was sent to go to the loo.
Suguru: Why am I being “sent” everywhere? I am capable of
independent thought, y’know.
>>After relieving himself, he suddenly remembered of his
Suguru: Shouldn’t I be dead by now...?
>> appointment. He quickly walked back to his seat just in
time to catch Mika-san leaving. Since he was too far away, he was left with
only one choice.
>>"MIKA-SAN! MATTE YO!"
Alakarda: Why yell? A lasso would have done the same job much more
Suguru: Not being deaf...
>> realizing her name being called turned around to face Suguru. But Suguru took no notice of it, instead he was staring straight behind her.
Alakarda: Suguru-san, do you have X-ray vision by any chance?
Alakarda: Then how do you stare straight behind her?
Suguru: It’s one of those mysteries.
>> He was looking at his partner-to-be, Mask to be exact.
Suguru: *lower lip starts to tremble again*
>> She looked different thought, probably because she was
Alakarda: Slowly being dissolved. Drinking undiluted hydrochloric acid has that effect on people.
>> wearing a different mask. Instead of wearing the white mask that she wore on her concert, she wore a blue one instead. It was not really dark blue but more of a light navy blue color.
Suguru: *with difficulty* I don’t...think you can get...light navy blue.
>> She was not wearing her school uniform though, but orange spaghetti stripe and red shorts
that fitted her and showed her curves perfectly.
Alakarda: Thanks for sharing that information. I really don’t CARE, but since when did you think of the readers?!
>> Her silky hair was tied high up like K's but giving her a feminine look.
Suguru: *strangled noise*
>>She's breathtaking. It was all Suguru could think of that moment.
Suguru: *resumes hysterical sobbing*
Alakarda: *hugs him* Hey, hey, it’ll be fine! Lots of people have been ‘Sued! Lots of people have been ‘Sued and gone on and done really well. And look at it this way...if you pull through this, you’ll have survived horrible torture! How does that make you feel?
Suguru: *sniff* There’s...MORE?!
Alakarda: I’m waiting on the next chapter.
Suguru: This does not look good.