MSTer's notes:

MSTer's notes: ...O_o; I have a feeling this will definately create some controversy. *grins nervously* But, hey! I've been watching the whole LQ situation closely for a month or two, and boy! Let me just say that it has amused the hell outta me! *evil laugh* Seriously, though? I'm not doing this to offend Link's Queen. ^^; She had just as much right to post this as I do to MST it, right? ^_~ Hope you guys appreciate this... it's gonna be tough work!

Disclaimer: Zelda and all associated characters are the property of Nintendo! Not me, or LQ! MST3K and all associated concepts belong to Best Brains Inc (those lucky bastards. XD). Etienne, Jesse, and Genocide belong to ME! Dissolved Girl. And finally, "My Inner Life" belongs to Link's Queen, and she's welcome to it. ;) No offense is meant by this MSTing... just consider it a slightly cynical form of C&C.

***********************************************************************

(the sound of rumaging can be heard, and random things are being tossed over Genocide's shoulder as he digs through some boxes)

Genocide: (shouting) Hey! Hey, guys! C'mere! I think I found some sort of biochemical weapons!

(pause)

Genocide: ...Or maybe just some old cheesies.

(A young woman comes down the stairs)

Woman: Uhh... Genocide? I think your, uh, bio...things are moving...

(Genocide looks over his shoulder. Sure enough, the moldy green objects are inching away)

Genocide: Huh... well, that can't be good.

Woman: *sweatdrops*

Genocide: Hey, Etienne... where's Jesse?

Woman(Etienne): *shrugs* Dunno, I think he's upstairs somewhere.

(The sound of footsteps is heard, and a man comes down the stairs)

Man: (flatly) Remind me again why we're helping you move?

Genocide: *turns around, grinning cheerfully* 'Cuz you guys love me!

Man: ....-_-

Etienne: Hey Jesse, did you make sure the door was propped open still?

Man(Jesse): Huh?

(long pause)

Genocide: You... didn't shut the door, did you??

(silence)

Genocide: Right??

Jesse: Ummmm.....

(Etienne runs up the stairs. There is a long silense, then...)

Etienne: AHHHHH!!!! *pounds on the door* We're locked in!!!

Genocide: -_- I KNEW I should've fixed that door...

Jesse: ...Oops.

(Etienne comes back and sits on the bottem step)

Etienne: *dejectedly* What do we do now??

Genocide: *peering around the room* Hmmm... hey, I've got a box full of fanfics here somewhere. We could pass the time by reading those... Dee and Cat are due to show up sometime soon. They'll let us out! ^_^

(Everyone shrugs, and decides to check out the fics. They drag the box over to the steps and sit down...)

Jesse: *pulling one out, reads the title* "My Inner Life"...?

Genocide: ...Uh oh... this isn't good...

Jesse: What?

Genocide: ...I've heard about this one, guys... it's gonna go down hard...

Jesse: What do you mean?

Etienne: (hushed tone) It's by... Link's Queen aka Jenna. *shivers* The ultimate Mary Sue of the Zelda fandom...

Jesse: ...Damn. I wish I still had my .44 here.

Genocide: Me too, man... -_-;;

Author's notes:

Hello. Thanks for choosing to read my story.

Etienne: Hello, and thanks for choosing Mary Sue Airlines! Please enjoy our in-flight movie, "My Inner Life", complete with SI girls, hole-y plots, and the all powerful plot device!

As you might know I have become a major Zelda fan in the last year. Ever since I played OoT

Jesse: OoT? What the hell is that?? Sounds like some sorta deranged noise...

Genocide: The sound of a thousand fangirls writing a thousand SI lemons... *shudders*

Etienne: *sweatdrop* It stands for Ocarina of Time, guys...

I have grown a fond interest in Link.

Etienne: As opposed to growing an un-fond interest?

Genocide: Sounds like something I'd find growing in my fridge.

Etienne: Eww... yet another reason I'm glad I don't spend a lot of time around you...

Genocide: *grins and puts his arm around her shoulders* You know you love me, babe!

Jesse: ...*looks icily at Genocide, raising a brow. He clears his throte*

Genocide: ....O_O *pales and quickly moves his arm*

I started to notice that after I got really into it, I found that I have a strange gift. A gift to

Jesse: Write bad Mary Sue fics? Yeah, we heard...

Lucid Dream.

All: ...Huh??

I started having dreams about Hyrule, and about Link.

Etienne: I... don't like the implications here...

In a Lucid Dream you can control your dreams. The dreams became very real, kinda like a second life,

Genocide: Ooookay.

Jesse: ...I think she needs to see a shrink. She's already sounding a little... off.

and almost every night I would have another. Starting from where the last left off. Even to this day I still have them. I find that they help me get through life.

Etienne: They also helped her master the art of choppy sentences! *rim shot*

I know this may sound queer,

Genocide: *opens his mouth* Well--

Jesse: *firmly* No. Don't go there.

Genocide: Aw, fine... spoil my fun.

but for me the dreams sure help me out. I have shared this story with many other people and so far all has liked it.

Etienne: I think they lied to spare her feelings.

Genocide: She showed it to her imaginary friends and stuffed animals.

Jesse: ...They should've told her it sucked.

Now as you read this it is told from my perspective or first person view.

Jesse: Let the pain begin...

Genocide: Good CHRIST! Are these author notes ever gonna end!?

You will find that it is very detailed since I remember it all very clearly to this day. The story takes place after OoT. Nothing after that ever happens.

Jesse: That's right, nothing. And certainly not this story.

Genocide: If only...

No Majora's Mask.

Etienne: (soup nazi voice) No Mask for you!

No LttP,

Genocide: Little teeny tiny People?

Jesse: Lovely tacky tree Painters?

Etienne: Lavander table tapping Pansies??

(pause)

Genocide: God we're weird... awww. ^_^

or even Oracle of Ages and Seasons. And there is no love relation between Link and Zelda,

Genocide: Yeah... let's just IGNORE all the canon stuff from the games!!

Etienne: Bitter much?

Genocide: ...Yes.

Link and Ruto,

Jesse: Wouldn't that be beastiality?

(collective shudder)

Link and Malon

Genocide: *pouts* No cute little redhead??

Etienne: O_o;;

Genocide: What?? I like Malon!

or Link and Saria.

Etienne: Well that would just be gross! She's like, seven!!

Jesse: At least Link won't be a pedophile in this.

Genocide: Guess we should be thankful for small favors!

Because of my feelings about Link, the person that he gets involved with in this story is myself

All: .........

Genocide: ...*latches onto Etienne* Mary Sues! Noooo!! Save me!!

Etienne: O_O;; Ehhhh.... *pries him off with a crowbar*

or actually is my persona. A persona is for those of you who need to know, a representation of ones personality,

Jesse: *rolls his eyes* Don't insult us; we know what a persona is!

Genocide: Yeah!! ...It's a game, right?? Persona??

Etienne: ....-_-; Oh my.

or in dictionary terms is, (Persona) n. In biology, same as person.

Etienne: Heyyy... that doesn't explain the kind of persona she's talking about...

Jesse: So, what she's telling us is that this story is from the POV of her "person"...

Genocide: (suspicious) ...Is this fanfic dubbed??

So for all you future readers, this story is based on Jenna, a char that is a representation of my personality.

Jesse: We get the point already!!!

But if you think this might be too queer

Genocide: *grins* Oh, it's way too--MMPH!!!

Jesse: *covering Genocide's mouth* Do you not understand the meaning of the word NO??

Genocide: *glowers*

then you shouldn't read this.

All: Sounds good to us!!

THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF STORY FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DISLIKE, OR CANNOT HANDLE SUCH MATERAL AS THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY.

Etienne: Well.. duh. That makes sense.

Jesse: Cherish this moment, kid... I've got a feeling it'll be the ONLY thing that makes sense in this fic.

But if you seriously believe you can handle the content of this story, then read on. If your squeamish about sex, then you

Genocide: Are obviously not sleeping with the right person...*wink*

Etienne: You have SUCH a one-track mind.

should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON

Jesse: Made from concentrate!

Genocide: One-hundred percent real lemon!

Etienne: Freshly squeezed!

and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed.

Etienne: Heavily detailed lemons?

Genocide: That's what it sounds like... O_o

(Between Link and I that is)

Etienne: Link and the author are sharing lemons??

Genocide: Talk about fruity! *ducks before Jesse can whack him*

Especially during the bonding ceremony.

Jesse: That sounds kinky.

Genocide: Oooh, I like it already. ^_^

Jesse: ...You disturb me.

Genocide: *grins* What can I say? I try my best!

There is also some blood content and strong adult language.

Etienne: What, no baby talk?

So if that's too much then you should turn back now.

Genocide: If only we could, fic... if only we could.

Now I have not finished it as of yet.

Jesse: It just keeps going and going and going...

I have to catch up, since the last dream I had was just after Link and I had the blessing ceremony for our twins.(Our 3rd and 4th kids)

Genocide: Whoa! Someone's been busy!

Right now there is about 100-150 pgs worth.

All: Ahh!

I'm expecting it to reach at least 300-350 probably even more.

All: AHHHHHH!!!

I will try to up date as often as possible.

Etienne: But will you down date, too?? *rim shot*

Genocide: Booooo!

I hope that some of you like this.

Genocide: We won't.

I do not mind sharing it.

Genocide: Damn you for having confidence in this fic!!

But please understand that this is very PRECIOUS to me, as well as Link.

Jesse: Err... I don't think Link would want his name attached to this... piece of work.

So like I said, if the content of this story sounds too queer to you,

Genocide: *looks at Jesse* Come ON, man!! It's just BEGGING for a riff!! Have mercy on me!

Jesse: NO.

TURN BACK NOW! But to all who wish to continue, happy reading.

Genocide: The only way I'd be happy reading this is in a drug induced haze. Otherwise, no deal.

Thanks,

All: But no thanks!

~*~ Link's Queen ~*~

Etienne: A name that may just live in Oscar-style infamy.... only without the beastiality.

Genocide: Self insertions, ho!

Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content.

Jesse: Didn't we already go over this...?

AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING:

Jesse: (LQ) You will be blinded by my almighty CAPS LOCK!! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!

Genocide: Ow! My freakin' eyes!

THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX,

Etienne: We KNOW!!

ABULT LANGUAGE

Jesse: "Abult" language...?

Genocide: Man, I hope someone hurries up and invents that Fanfic-ese translator!

AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK.

Etienne: *bursts out laughing* Yeah, right! And Doctor Anthony Penn's my father!!

Jesse: ...*shifts uncomfortably in his seat*

THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM.

Genocide: Yes, yes, your stupid lucid dreams, we get the point!

IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE, QUEER,

Genocide: *pleading* Jesse, please! It's killing me!!

Jesse: *warning glare*

OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL,

Etienne: Right. ...Huh??

THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO MANY FLAMES

Genocide: I wanna go to flames, guys!! Can we go to flames?? Please???

ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY

Jesse: Geeeee, I wonder why??

Etienne: Careful, don't wanna use up all that sarcasm too early...

WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!! I WILL NOT ACCECPT ANY MORE FLAMES, RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR JENNA,

Etienne: Oh, stop ranting already!

OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY,

Genocide: Uhhh... correct me if I'm wrong, guys... but isn't the review option on FF.Net specifically for, oh, I dunno... reviewing the content of the story!?!?

EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY, OR NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM!!!

Jesse: Sooo... no talking about Jenna, reviewing the story, or giving constructive critism... O_o;;

Genocide: No, it's "critisim"...

Jesse: ^_^;; Oh, well that's a different matter!

ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES,

Etienne: "Abouve"?? Has the fic gotten an accent?

WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK PRETTY,

Jesse: That's good, because I've seen some SEWAGE that looked prettier than this load of bull.

THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!!

Etienne: To bore us to death?

Genocide: Ugh, mission accomplished! *snore*

IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ ON!!!

Etienne: No one in their right mind would want to read an entire warning that was this long! This is like, EIGHT pages!!

MANY AUTHORS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UNWANTED, EXCESSIVE, VIOLENT AND JUST PLAIN NASTY REVIEWS THAT HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED BY READERS ABOUT THEIR STORIES, CAUSING FANFICTION TO GRANT AUTHORS THE ABILITY TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS AND BLOCK CERTAIN READERS!!

Genocide: If only readers had the ability to block certain writers!

I WILL SAY THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL AUTHORS ON FANFICTION. NO AUTHOR TWISTS YOUR ARM OR HOLDS YOU AT GUN POINT OR FORCES YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TO READ THEIR STORIES!!

Genocide: I wouldn't bet on it...

ALL READERS HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO READ A CERTAIN STORY!!!

Etienne: *tugs on Jesse's sleeve* Is that true??

Jesse: Not for us, kid... -_-

Genocide: *mutters* It's YOUR fault we're stuck in the basement with nothing to do...

Jesse: ...*glare*

IT IS YOUR RESOPONSIBILITY TO READ THE WARNINGS AND DECIDE FOR YOUSELF IF THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU, AND TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO READ ON OR NOT!!!

Genodice: I am offended by this warning!!

AND IT ALSO IS THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Etienne: I don't wanna be responsible and take responsibility!

Genocide: Yeah! ...Sounds like too much responsibility!

Jesse: *groan*

ON HOW THEY HANDLE THENSELVES

All: Huh??

WHEN LEAVING A REVIEW FOR AN AUTHOR!! LEAVING A REVIEW THAT IS VIOLENT IN NATURE ONLY MAKES YOU THE READER LOOK BAD, AND IS VERY IMMATURE.

Jesse: Oh, yes, and using the CAPS lock makes you look SO mature!

IF ALL US HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS,

Etienne: *miffed* We ARE??

WELL THEN, LETS CONDUCTIVE OURSELVES LIKE ADULTS AND NOT LIKE LITTLE KIDS!

Jesse: How exactly do we "conductive" ourselves?

I ONLY EXPECT THE VIOLENT LASHING OUT AND VICIOUS ATTACKS TO COME FROM TEENANGERS, NOT ADULTS!

Genocide: ...Not that you're being age-descriminant or anything.

IF YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE ADULTS THAT ARE CONDUCTING YOURSELVES IN THE MANORS I DECRIBED ABOVE, YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE SCARING ME!

Genocide: And you're scaring me!!

Jesse: This is the longest bitch-fest I've ever seen...

IT'S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT CONDUCTIVE

Genocide: *giggles*

Etienne: O_o;;; It's quite frightening to hear a homocidal maniac giggle like a school girl.

Jesse: *sweatdrop*

THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS THEIR PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT THEM! ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

Jesse: Then what's this rant a sign of...?

IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY,

Genocide: Then yer doin' good! *cackles*

IT'S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF!

Etienne: Suuuuuuure it is....

I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY

Jesse: What if that IS their hobby?

AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER, BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF,

Genocide: How d'ya figure that??

NOT ME! ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, NOT ME!

Etienne: This rant, however, makes you look plenty stupid.

I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG,

All: We agree!!

BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS!

Jesse: And we all know that THIS wouldn't prompt nasty reviews...

Etienne: No siree!

AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!!

Genocide: No!!

Etienne: Good lord! O_o;; Why would we read it AGAIN!?

Furthermore,

All: AHHHHHHHHHH! NO MORE!!!

I have realized that this story needs some heavy grammar corrections,

Jesse: Oh god, where's my gun!?

Genocide: *whimpers* Bad... grammar...?

and that the plot needs some work.

Etienne: *snickers* I'll bet it does, MARY...

Also under the advisement of my friend who had just recently completed two literature classes,

Genocide: Please tell me you've decided to enroll??

has stated the reasons why people had classified Jenna as a "Mary Sue" char and labeled her as "flat".

Jesse: Because she IS?

Genocide: Geez, the author ADMITTED that Jenna was supposed to be herself!

She has come to the conclusion that most people do not know or understand Jenna's history,

Etienne: Correction: They don't CARE about Jenna or her history!

so she has advised me to create an origin story to explain about her history before she met Link.

Genocide: *whimper* Please tell me that won't be included in these horrendous author's notes!!

Jesse: I am THIS close to PRAYING for salvation!

That way she will become more rounded and

Jesse: We'll be able to roll her right outta this story!

Genocide: (random audience member) Booo! Get off the stage!

give people a reason to care about her.

Etienne: It's a lost cause, LQ!! No one's ever gonna care about Jenna!

It was never in my intentions to create Jenna as a "Mary Sue" char or to make her conceited, because I'm not really like that. Jenna is a persona char, one that resembles my personality

Jesse: (frustrated) That's what a Mary Sue IS, you moron!! AHHH!!

Etienne: *patpat* ^^;; Calm down... it's not even into the story yet, Jesse.

Jesse: Where did you GET this crap, Genocide??

Genocide: ^_^;; I don't remember...

while this story is being told from her perspective. This story is not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came from my dreams.

Genocide: Which were pulled out of your head. Huh.

So I understand that revising this story is going to be hard work and will take time.

Etienne: Like all GOOD things should.

Jesse: I hope you're not saying this is good...

Etienne: O_O;;; No, no...

Since this story is being told in the exact, or close to exact order it happened in the dreams, changing how fast Link and Jenna marry isn't going to be easy.

Genocide: Uhhh, and why not? You simply backspace some stuff, and add some stuff... no biggie.

Even changing how fast they have sex

Genocide: Heh, I always knew Link would be a minute-man. *snickers*

and revising the Lemon parts also won't be so easy to do. But I'm currently in the process of revising this story, also I have received a college grammar book from my friend and I will be investing in a Beta-Reader.

Etienne: Today Beta-Reader stalks plummeted a shocking 999,999,999 percent...

I'm also considering taking to literature classes at JC to help boost my writing skills.

Jesse: Do it!! For the sake of us all, please do it!

But now I say this, if you people, the reviewers really have the intentions to help me, them please do it positively and like a mature adult.

Etienne: Thought we weren't allowed to review?

Genocide: Should we "conductive" ourselves using "abult language"?

Jesse: *snickers*

I'm telling you that it is a proven fact that

Etienne: Mary Sues are pure EVIL!

Jesse: Freedom of speech is often abused!

Genocide: The Caramilk secret isn't really a secret!

negative motivation NEVER motivates someone to change.

Jesse: ...I'm sure there's a double negative joke in there SOMEwhere.

It never has and it never will. I'm pretty sure your parents have taught you that people only respond to positive motivation and not negative.

Genocide: I respond to negative motivation by killing. It works for me!

Etienne: *sweatdrop*

I'm not close-minded, I NEVER have been. I have always been open to other people's thoughts and opinions,its when its done in an inappropriate manner that I turn my nose at it and look away.

Etienne: Then you're not always open to thoughts and opinions, are you?

Jesse: Ahhh, I love the scent of contradictions in a fic.

Genocide: *sniff sniff* No, I think that's something in the basement you smell...

Etienne & Jesse: O_o;;;

People have to understand that when you're an adult, you need to conduct yourself

Jesse: Don't you mean "conductive"?

like one and learn how to address other people like one. You cannot just act childish when you come across something that you DO NOT approve of,

Genocide: Oh, yes I can!!

Jesse: *mutters* Yeah, just watch him...

you're only making yourself look bad and that can affect you later on in life. Acting childish and ranting and raving is something I'd expect a little kid would do when he doesn't get his way.

All: *hysterical laughing*

Etienne: You just summed up this rant PERFECTLY, LQ... *grins*

Jesse: Couldn't have said that better myself...

Genocide: Thank god for self-contradicting writers! ^_^

When an adult acts childish over stupid things, that's looked down upon, and considered to be unhealthy.

Jesse: ...*gestures the the AN/rant* Need I say more?

I have seen far too many reviews left for me where the reviewers are just ranting and raving like little kids over this story because they do not like it. It is only making them look stupid and is very unhealthy.

Genocide: Actually, it happens to be very healthy to express one's self in such a manner.

Jesse: Says the man who commits mass genocide on a regular basis.

Genocide: ...Shut up.

I fear that these people have some serious emotional problems if they get that upset over a story.

Genocide: And I fear that if you keep babbling, I'm gonna SCREAM!!

People in control of their emotions and have also obtained some sort of common sense,

Jesse: Which is something NOT exhibited here.

NEVER let little things get them all riled up. It is very sad when one that is supposed to be an adult, cannot handle them like one.

All: *muffled snickers*

I was NEVER angry with the reviewers not liking the story, it's how they handled themselves when leaving me the reviews.

Etienne: Uhh... huh???

Genocide: *holds his head* Oh man, if she's this confusing NOW, I shudder to think what the actual story will be like...

Getting riled up, ranting and raving,

Jesse: *cough*LQ*cough*

screaming and spitting nails over this story is what has caused me to get upset, not the fact that they didn't like it.

Etienne: Suuuuuure....

Also as a side note,

Genocide: AHHHHH!!! SHUT UP, ALREADY!!!

I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story.

Jesse: I beg to differ... it's giving ME a headache.

I got one reviewer that said. "Oh God, please stop writing, you're hurting everyone."

Etienne: I agree! O.o;;;

Now I want to know where I physically touched that person.

Jesse: Ew, she touched them??

Genocide: Stop touching meeeee!

Etienne: (Ralph Wiggum) She touched my special area!

I want to know how I'm twisting anyone's arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you're emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine.

Etienne: EXCUSE me??? How is it OUR fault if YOUR fic causes emotional pain?

I'm sorry if it did, but I have placed several warnings describing the content of this story

Genocide: Several LONG warnings...

Jesse: Several long and PAINFUL warnings...

and if you know what it contains and you do not like this type of material, then why are you reading it?

Genocide: Because JESSE got us locked in my basement!

Jesse: ...Shut up.

I do not appreciate getting accused for other people's actions.

Etienne: You mean someone ELSE wrote this painful fic??

It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko

(looooong pause)

Genocide: From the GECKO???

Etienne: ^_^;; Errr... anyone remember talking to any geckos before we read this...?

Jesse: O_o;;

what it contained. So please DO NOT flame me about it.

I also feel like a schoolteacher teaching a bunch of little kids.

Jesse: An incoherant teacher who talks to GECKOS, maybe.

Etienne: And mangles the english language.

And I find that this really wasn't necessary and shouldn't have had to come to this,

Genocide: No kidding!! X_x;;

but it is very hard when your reviewers have forgotten how to conduct

themselves like adults.

Etienne: But if they "conductive" themselves like "abults", that's acceptable. ^_^;

If you honestly think that being malicious is a good thing and that you're not wrong in doing so,

Genocide: Sounds good to me! ^_^

well then your blinded by your own selfish pride. People with common sense learn how to take responsibility for themselves and are able to admit when their wrong.

All: *loud coughing*

I have found that many of the reviewers that have left me malicious reviews honestly believe that its appropriate behavior for an adult. When it really is that they are too self-absorbed in themselves to admit their wrong.

Etienne: No, it's not their wrong, it's YOUR wrong!

Genocide: MINE MINE MINE!!!

Again that results from selfish pride. One to scared to admit in front of others that they just might be wrong.

Jesse: -_-; This is making less and less sense, the longer it gets.

Also, how can any of you hold any right to call Jenna conceited when in reality, your contradicting yourself by being conceited as well?

Genocide: Buh??

Etienne: ..Sooo... they're conceited becuase they left reviews saying they didn't like your story? O_o;

Being conceited is again selfish pride and being self-absorbed.

Jesse: Bravo, you can use a dictionary.

And yes, it is and always will be a fact that most of the reviewers have been conceited and very contradictive.

Etienne: Not that YOU are, or anything, though...

Genocide: Noooo, never!

Please DO NOT leave me a review that only contradicts what you are trying to preach. You should in reality, take your own advice.

Jesse: Because you sure aren't going to take their advice. -_-;;

Again I find it very ridiculous that this had to be as long as it is,

All: SO MAKE IT SHORTER!!

but it is due to the fact that people not conducting

Genocide: *giggles*

themselves appropriately. Also if I do receive any more malicious reviews, with screaming, spitting nails

Jesse: Now that sounds dangerous.

Genocide: Warning! Do not attempt this at home!!

or ranting and raving over this story because you do not like it then are to self-absorbed to admit that acting like that is wrong,

All: *more loud coughing*

well then you have proven my point!

Etienne: There was a point...?

All of this is very self-explanatory!

Jesse: I think we must've missed something then, because it didn't seem very self-explanatory to me.

Genocide: Of course we missed something!

Etienne: Yeah! We didn't "hear from the gecko"!

Now PLEASE DO NOT READ ON if you DO NOT plan on leaving me a review appropriately!

Genocide: We would stop reading... only then we'd be bored.

Etienne: O_o;; I don't think it'd be safe to be around you when you're bored.

Genocide: *grins widely*

Jesse: -_-;;;

(suddenly the sound of the door opening is heard...)

MSTer's end notes: Well! There it is! ...Could have been better, I know, but it was only the "Authors Notes" I had to work with. ^^;; Don't worry, the next installment will be better! ^_^ There's *GASP* suspense! Will Genocide, Jesse, and Etienne get out of the basement?? Who's at the door?? Will we ever get to meet that elusive gecko!? Find out in the next installment of "My Inner Life"... ;)

Stinger: "It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko what it contained."

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MSTer's Note: Welcome to the next chapter in this scary endevour--LQ's epic prologue! *rolls eyes* It ject gets more and more painful, guys, but I'm trying to get through it! There were some typos and a missing word in the last chapter... ^^;; Sorry about that! >_<

Disclaimer: Same as the last part... *too lazy to type it again* The new characters (Cat, Dee, Cheesie #1 and Cheesie #2) belong to me. Though Cheesie #1 might argue that point...

Anyway, onto the MST!! Enjoy!

(The door opens and two voices are heard)

Genocide: (desperately) Guys!! Don't shut the--

(the sound of the basement door closing is heard)

Genocide: ...Door. -_- God dammit!

(A short young woman wearing a skimpy halter top, and a tall young man in military fatigues both come down the stairs)

Woman: What were you sayin', Genocide?

Genocide: *groans* We're locked in... I was hoping you wouldn't shut the door, Dee.

Woman (Dee): ...Oh. Sorry.

(Etienne moves so Dee and Cat can enter the room)

Cat: What were you guys doing down here, anyway?

(The young man peers around, then frowns, sighting something distasteful)

Cat: Uh, hey, Genocide... it looks like there's some sorta fuzzy green things moving over there... *points across the room*

(Genocide peers across the room. The moldy cheesies from before are indeed making their way across the room)

Dee: O_O;; Good GOD! When was the last time you cleaned??

Jesse: *mutters* Try NEVER.

Genocide: Heeeyyy....

Etienne: (attempting to avoid a fight) Hey, guys! Wanna help us tear apart this badfic we found in a box of fanfics?

(Cat peers over Etienne's shoulder at the fic)

Cat: Wow... look at all those author's notes... O_o;

Jesse: Yeah, you missed THAT little gem.

(Dee settles into a sitting position on the floor, and Cat sits down beside her)

Dee: It's not like we have anything else to do... ^_^;;

Cat: Let's riff away! ^_^

(Everyone gets comfortable and prepares to tear up the fic!)

Prologue

Cat: ...Of insanity!

Dreams come in many forms.

Dee: Well, DAMN... sounds like she's about to get all philisophical on our asses!

Some good,

Genocide: Heh heh....

Etienne: ...You're creeping me out.

some bad,

Jesse: Like the one with the clowns, the cotten candy, and Barbara Walters??

(Everyone looks at Jesse oddly)

Jesse: (defensively) What?? It was a nightmare!

some very realistic, even ones that feelsvery real.

Etienne: "feelsvery"??

Genocide: Bring on the translater!!

Cat: Well, if something is realistic, doesn't it generally feel real??

Dee: Shhh! You're ruining LQ's propaganda technique!!

A dream may come to us from happy events, or even stem from bad events in our lives.

Jesse: Do we CARE??

Some come to us as a pleasure dream

Genocide: *lecherous grin*

Etienne: *leans away* Ummm...??? O_o;;

Genocide: *winks at Etienne*

Etienne: Gah!!! O_O;

Jesse: ...*gives Genocide "The Look"*

and some come as nightmares.

Jesse: *shudders* As long as they don't involve Barbara Walters...

Some become vague memories after time,

Dee: I have a feeling this fic won't be one of those.

while some stay very rich in our minds.

Cat: ...Unfortunately.

This is a story about a dream that I had.

Etienne: A sick, twisted dream!

Genocide: A dream that would haunt FF.Net for generations to come! O_o

A dream that became more dreams. A dream that would end one night then resumes the next.

Jesse: Resumes the next what?

It became like a second life.

Dee: Hooboy. This gal is a real head case...

Ever since I became a Zelda fan, I grew an interest in Link. I thought of him as the perfect man.

(long pause)

Genocide: *latches onto the nearest person, who happens to be Jesse* I'm scared!! O_O

Jesse: ...Please let go of me. o_O;;

Genocide: Eh heh... ^^;; Sorry...

One that you could not find of this world.

Dee: Maybe because he's made of pixels, sweetheart.

I thought of him as a man that should have been.

Etienne: But he is. He just happens to be a video game character...

The more that he attracted my attention the more I became more attracted to him.

Cat: (Link's Queen) And the more I felt this strange urge to repeat myself! To say the same things more than once...

I felt like there was a connection between him and me. Then he became a part of me,

Genocide: (LQ) And we merged into some horrible hybrid creature with bad english and the urge to talk to geckos!

Jesse: (LQ) Yes... he became a part of me when we accidentally picked up the super glue instead of the lube. Yeah, we sure had a hard time explaining THAT to the doctor...

and after that I fell deeply in love with him.

Etienne: (LQ) Well, I thought it was love. Maybe it was just gas... I'm always getting those to mixed up!

I know that may sound queer

Genocide: Okay, what IS her fascination with the word "queer"!?

to you but love is a mysterious

Etienne: (LQ)--And strangely gassy thing.

thing and should not be taken lightly. Love is a very strong emotion, an emotion that should be treasured. Love comes from the heart, but when it takes hold, it's got you.

Etienne: Yeesh! What's with all those commas!?

Genocide: (nervously) Etienne...? Remember the pauses in that ReBoot lemon...?

Etienne: O_O No... no way...

Genocide: *whispers* ...Shatner's back.

(A crash is heard in the distance, and an unidentified female voice is heard)

Voice: God DAMN it! I can't keep repairing this Fourth Wall!!

I quite don't understand it myself,

Cat: ...Then why are you writing about it??

but I do know that when I first laid

Genocide: AHHHHHHHHH!!! I don't want to hear this!!

Cat: *covers his eyes*

my eyes upon Link I fell in love with him.

Dee: *nudges Genocide and Cat* Guys, it's okay... it was just a false alarm.

My heart just told me it was right.

Cat: (LQ) Or was that left? I always get those two mixed up.

Told me he was the one,

Dee: (LQ) The one I just HAD to write bad SI lemons about!

the one I had been searching for.

Jesse: She sounds like a stalker!

Ever since then I have felt that it was destiny that has brought me to him. Even in my mind it feels the same.

Genocide: Well, where ELSE would it feel that way...? *looks vaguely confused*

I don't consider myself any different from anyone else. Though I have love for someone that is not really there,

Jesse: (LQ) I swear, I'm no different from anyone else! Really!!

he will always remain very real to me inside my heart and in my mind.

Dee: You are entering a dimension not of sight or sound, but of a warped mind. You are entering... the Mary Sue Zone.

Cat: *hums the Twilight Zone music*

Even to this day I still love him. He has kept me very happy.

Etienne: Very very happy?

Genocide: (LQ) VERY very very happy... *wink*

He has made me happy when I was sad. He has made me feel stronger about myself. He has even taken care of me in ways that no one else can.

Dee: This chick is starting to freak me out.

Jesse: Sounds like she's having some lucid halucinations.

Even though I have feelings for him, I'm not any different from the rest of you.

Cat: (LQ) Even though I'm in LOVE with a video game character, and have lucid halucinations--er, dreams--about him... I'm no different than anyone else!

I will always hold him close to me

Genocide: And love him and pet him and call him George! ^_^

in my heart. He is still on my mind

Jesse: Must be getting kinda heavy... *rimshot*

and I still have dreams.

Cat: Gee, what a coincidence! I still have dreams, too!

The connection stills remains strong,

Etienne: I KNEW she wouldn't be able to keep going without mangling a sentence!!

and the dreams very real.

Dee: (LQ) I feel the need to mention this one more time.... VERY REAL.

I lived an entire life with Link in Hyrule.

Genocide: ...But let's ignore the fact the Hyrule and Link DON'T EXIST!!! *hyperventilates*

Etienne: Whoa, calm down...

All stemming from a series of dreams. Dreams that I want to have. Dreams that I make happen.

Jesse: (LQ) Dreams that I will force you to listen to.

From the first day I met him, to the birth of our first child, to even the days when Link and I prepared our family in the event that Gannon should return.

Cat: (LQ) I continued to bore you with these delusional events.

Dee: (LQ) And will continue to bore you for as long as I can.

This book is based on my inner life.

All: *shudder*

A second life lived in a far away land in another time line in another dimension.

Dee: Yes. The... Mary Sue Zone.

Jesse: Brace for impact, everyone...

Etienne: Yeah, the prologue's almost over....

A tale of love, passion,

Cat: ...Obsession, scarieness...

Dee: Self insertion and lemons...

despair and hope. I enjoyed my inner life.

All: *shudder again*

I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. And I look forward to ones that will come,

Genocide: Is that a double entendre??

because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.

All: STOP SHOUTING AT US!!!

(Genocide sighs and puts down the fic for a moment)

Genocide: Man, this is... painful!

Etienne: Yeah, I mean... how long can it possibly TAKE to get to the fic itself!?

Jesse: ...Do we really WANT to see the fic??

(There is a rustling sound in the background, but no one seems to notice)

Dee: Well... it's morbid curiosity, now.

Cat: Yeah, I just HAVE to see the horror that this girl has created...

(The camera pans and the source of the faint noises is revealed... The moldy, moving cheesies have set up a mini base behind a pile of boxes! It appears they have somehow evolved, and developed... intelligence!)

Cheesie #1: (high, nasal voice) We've done it! Now we can get our true revenge on that fool for trying to eat us! *evil laughter*

Cheesie # 2: (stoner voice) Uh, yeah... hey, dude, I think I've got the munchies...

Cheesie #1: ...Shut up. You're ruining my moment of glory.

(Well, okay... maybe I was wrong about the intelligence...)

End Notes: AHH! Painful! *sob* ...But kinda fun. =P I hope everyone enjoys this... I can't wait to see what LQ herself will have to say when she sees this... *giggles* She'll probably accuse me of being Tilly! Anyhoo, I just wanna give thanks to my "Bold Formatter"... ^_^ Without her, this wouldn't be possible!

Stinger: "I don't consider myself any different from anyone else. Though I have love for someone that is not really there..."