MSTer's Notes: This is the interlude of
"My Inner Life" that I promised.
^^;; It's not the original MST I had planned, because I happened to lose
the disk with that one saved on it... O_o; Anyhoo, the fic "Forbidden
Love" belongs to Link's Queen aka whatever her name of the day is. My MSTing team belongs to me, Dissolved
Girl. And lastly, no offense is meant
by this MSTing. ^_^ LQ should meet Dr. Thinker to learn a lesson or two about
not taking these MSTs so seriously! But anyway... on with the show!
<Deep
in the reaches of outerspace.... on the Satellite of Badfics>
GENOCIDE:
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?
ETIENNE:
Err... O_o; They cancelled Mr. T's show back in the 80's, Genocide...
GENOCIDE:
*sniffles* I... I can't believe it...
JESSE:
The show sucked, man. Get over it.
GENOCIDE:
*mutters* I pity the foo' who don't like Mr. T...
(The
vidscreen suddenly flares to life, revealing two not-so-ominous figures...)
<On
Screen>
HIGH
COMMANDER CHEESIE: Well, well, well... hello my foolish little guinneapigs!
<SoB>
ALL:
*unenthusiastically* Hello...
<On
Screen>
H.C.
CHEESIE: My Lieutenant and I have found a little treat you might enjoy..
*cackles* Press the--
LT.
CHEESIE: Maaaan... do you smell something burning?
(long
pause)
H.C.
CHEESIE: .....O_O You idiot!!! You just burned the last bit of the
experiment!!! Now we'll have to disrupt the space-time continueum to get back
the lost pages!!
<SoB>
ALL:
....Huh??
<On
Screen>
LT.
CHEESIE: (mournful) ....I dropped my bong, man.... -_-
(much
screaming and cursing ensues, cut off by the pushing of the button)
<SoB>
(the
screen goes black, followed by flashing lights and blaring sirens)
ALL:
We've got Badfic Sign... *trudge into the theater*
(6,
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater)
<Theater>
(Everyone
files down the aisle towards the front)
Genocide: So what was all that about,
anyway...??
Etienne: ...Sounds like we might
only be getting PART of a fic!
Jesse: Thank god.
(Seating
left to right: Jesse, Etienne, Genocide)
<The
lights dim and the torture begins!!>
Authors
Notes:
Jesse: Something we've learned to
fear and loathe.
This
is a story based on the idea that has been spreading around
Genocide: Like a plague!
about
Sheik being a real man
Etienne: As opposed to the synthetic
kind.
Genocide: I HATE those kind!
Jesse: Yeah, damn posers...
and
not actually Zelda.
Etienne: I personally find that a
bit freaky... the whole Zelda is Sheik thingie. O_o
Genocide: Ahhh, the old
cross-dressing-princess-saves-the-day trick...
Now
I haven't been the type to like the crazy idea of the Link x Sheik thingy,
Etienne: ^___^ I've got nothing
against it!
so
I came up with something that well, bashes that idea. *winces* No offense to
Sheik fans…
Jesse: (Author) Yeah, I bash it
but, like, no offense!
Genocide: Ahh, LQ... mistress of
contradictions.
Don't
get me wrong, I think Sheik is cool and I personally say there is a male Sheik,
Etienne: Wow! Your personal opinion
has given validation to my entire life!! Gee, thank you Link's Queen! I may
never have achieved fulfillment without that single sentence!!
Jesse: ...Sarcasm doesn't become
you, kid.
Etienne: ...-_- I can only take so
much Badfic...
my
one friend
Genocide: Your ONLY friend.
(she's
a complete
Jesse: Figment of your
imagination?
Sheik
freak)
Genocide: Sheik freak... heehee, it
rhymes! ^___^
also
says that sheik is real but his name is spelled Shiek, as not to confuse the
Zelda Sheik and the real Sheik together.
Etienne: Does it confuse them
seperately, then?
Genocide: I dunno about them, but
that bit sure confused the hell outta me!
But
it's just that I cannot see the Link x Sheik thingy
Jesse: But you can, however, see
Link.
Etienne: Yeah, she sees him in her
room every night... ^_~
Genocide: And she doesn't just SEE
him there, either. She--Mmph!!
Jesse: *covers Genocide's mouth*
Don't go there.
cuz
I don't believe in Link
Etienne: *gasp* She's not the real
LQ! That imposter!!!
or
Sheik being gay. And Link's too damn hott
Jesse: And you're too damn
"stupidd" to use correct spelling.
to
waste that on a man,
Etienne: I know some men who might
disagree. *sweatdrop*
but
anywayz,
Jesse: *twitch*
What
would happen if Link married a woman
Etienne:They might produce
offspring?
Genocide: We'd be subjected to
"My Inner Life"?
(collective
shudder)
but
was secretly in love with Sheik?
Jesse: Better Sheik than Jenna.
What
would Link's wife do to Link or Sheik if she found out?
Genocide: I'm hoping for some sort of
brutal murder... mwahahahaa!!!
Etienne: O_O ...Freak.
Genocide: *grins*
Read
on to and see for yourself… …
Jesse: If only we had a choice in
the matter...
Warnings:
Etienne: Extreme incoherence ahead!!
Proceed at your own risk!
Dark,
very dark,
Jesse: Turn on a light, then!
*rimshot*
major
violence, blood content,
Genocide: Bwahahahaaa! ...Eeeexcellent.
some
mentions to the Link x Sheik coupling,
Etienne: Considering that seems to
be the basis for the fic, I would HOPE there was mention of it.
Jesse: You never know, when LQ is
involved...
Genocide: Yeah, leave it to her to
"forget" a pivitol plot point.
continuous
pov changing
All: Noooooo....
and
some sheik bashing.
Etienne: *pretends to swing a
baseball bat* Mwahahaha!!! NOW I'm
ready for Sheik bashing!
Not
a fic for the Sheik fans and fans
Jesse: And fans and fans and fans.
Genocide: And fans.
of
the Link x Sheik thingy. Rated NC-17
All: O_O
Etienne: Nooooo!! Not more bad LQ
porn!!
Genocide: *whimper*
for
all of the above descriptions.
Jesse: An nc-17 fic without sex?
That has to be a first...
Forbidden
Love
All: *squinting* Wha....?
(MSTer's
note: ^^;; That title shows up in some sort of weird, condensed font on my
computer... hense the squinting. ^^;;)
Prologue:
Jesse: A long time ago, in a
galaxy far, far away...
Link
walked solemnly around Hyrule field, his head swarming with
Etienne: BEES!!!
uneasy
feelings as the memories of what occurred earlier that day caused him to fill
with the mixtures of nervousness and fear.
Genocide: Mix your nervousness and
fear in one bowl. Add a sprinkle of
tension and mix thoroughly!
He
transfixed his eyes
Jesse: How the hell did he manage
THAT??
towards
the aqua shimmering sky as the memories of "him"
Etienne: You can tell it's LQ when
the random "quotes" come in.
came
Genocide: What were you saying about
no sex, Jesse?
Jesse: ....
rushing
back into his mind like a raging river,
Etienne: *raises a brow* If this
ISN'T talking about sex, it sure has a lot of euphanisms...
the
fire of a certain desire ravaged his every vein,
Jesse: It was either desire, or
those drugs he took earlier.
sending
shocks of momentarily pleasure cursing threw his lower body.
Genocide: O_O;; THREW his lower
body??
Jesse: ...Sounds violent.
With
a snort of
Etienne: Cocaine.
disgust
he tried to push the forbidden feelings aside,
Genocide: *wistfully* Ahhh, why are
all the forbidden things so tempting?
Jesse: ...Uhhh...
forced
the thoughts of "him" out of his mind, but as hard as he tried, he
was unable to forget the unthinkable, but desirable act he committed earlier
that day and the ruby red eyes of the one he secretly loved.
Etienne: Oooooh, sordid affairs!
He
basked revealingly in it;
Jesse: Ahhh! *covers his eyes* Put
it on, put it on!!
felt
a certain power in knowing that the one he was solely searching for finally
came to for fill the fantasies
Genocide: To... huh??
Etienne: How do you "to for
fill" something??
he
had longed for, yearned for,
But………
At
what cost?
Galleon: (Cartman a la Asian hooker)
Sucky sucky, five dolla!!
Jesse: O_o;;; Hooboy...
He
had risked so much to for fill a burning desire
Etienne: Did Sheik give him crabs or
something??
that
wasn't even supposed to happen, one that would have been considered sick,
perverted and downright repulsive.
Genocide: Is this talking about the
author? *WHACK* Ow!!!
Jesse: As tempting as it might be,
we're supposed to avoid directly flaming the author... to excess.
But
Link felt nothing of that, all he cared about was finally getting to touch,
hold, and caress the one person that he had secretly fallen in love with, but
the very same person he denied that existed to all his loved ones.
Etienne: O_< Does anyone have any
asprin?? That last paragraph gave me a migraine...
Link
closed his deep blue eyes as the gentle cool breeze of the autumn air
Jesse: As opposed to a breeze of
autumn WATER?
brushed
gently across his face and threw his golden blonde hair. He slowly opened his
broad hand to reveal a golden pendant in the shape of a dragon with the symbol
of the Sheikahs clutched in its claws.
Genocide: *falls out of his chair*
...Ohhh... anyone get the number of the run-on sentence that hit me??
With
a sigh, Link brought the pendant close to his heart and held it tightly against
his chest as he whispered softly to himself.
Etienne: Rosebud?
Jesse: Stella?
Genocide: Spam??
"Sheik…"
All: ...Oh.
A
dangerous act of lust
Genocide: The best kind!
It
was a cool autumn day; the sun was shinning lazily down through the great
sacrum trees in the Lost Woods.
Jesse: ...Sacrum? O_o; Guys, are
we SURE LQ wrote this??
Etienne: Maybe... maybe it was
beta'd??
Genocide: I pity the beta!
It's
rays reflected off the leaves that were turning colors of bright reds, warm
oranges and soft yellows.
Jesse: Were they radioactive rays?
Etienne: Laser rays!
Genocide: DEATH RAYS!!! *evil laugh*
The
musical sounds of exotic
Genocide: Dancers...?
Etienne: *whacks Genocide upside the
head* Perv.
birds
filled the air with their sweet sounds as a cool brisk breeze blew gently threw
the long brown hair of a slender young woman
Etienne: *muffled giggle* With a
sleek, sexy neck?
Jesse: ^^;;
that
was working busily in her garden.
The
women worked fervently among her crops,
Genocide: Bet I know what kinda
"crops" those were... heh.
taking
just enough care not to damage the fragile vegetables as she gently plucked
them off their luscious vines.
Jesse: Yes, she was growing glass
veggies!
As
the women worked gracefully among her crops, she hummed to a sweet beautiful
tune
Etienne: The Song of the Mary Sue,
in it's natural habitat.
that
she and Link often hummed to together.
She
often hummed to that tune as a reminder of the love she shared with the special
man in her life, the one that had stolen her heart years before.
Jesse: Damn her for not following
the laws of physics! She should be DEAD without her heart!!
She
loved him, cherished him, and wrapped her whole world around him.
Genocide: That's... vaguely
disturbing.
Etienne: Hm, quite.
He
meant everything to her, and because of that, she would even die for him.
Genocide: I take that back. That's VERY disturbing. She's obsessed with him!
Etienne: STAAAAAAAAAAALKER!!!
But
it seemed that recently, Link wasn't the same.
He
was acting odd, behaving strangely.
Jesse: Never mind that those are
the same things.
He
was disappearing for long hours, sometimes staying out all night, sneaking
around and avoided any questions when asked where he was.
Etienne: *giggle* Gee, THAT's not
suspicious!
At
first, Kitiara thought
Genocide: Kitiara?? Who the hell is
that??
Jesse: *blinks* Jenna changed her
name...?
Etienne: ...Trying to tone down the
Mary Sue-ness, probably.
his
strange behavior was just something due to stress, but then the strange
occurrences soon started to form a pattern.
She
started to notice him do things that he normally never did, even started to
find strange things hidden among his belongings that weren't even his.
Jesse: Yes, it was true... Link
had become a klepto!
Etienne: He'd joined the Gerudo
people!!
And
there were countless times when she would question him where he had been when
he returned home after he had disappeared all day and some times all night. But
he would always act evasive, avoided the questions, and seemed to have a
different excuse every time.
Kitiara
knew something was wrong, knew he was hiding something from her, but she wasn't
quite sure what it was.
Genocide: Gee, it can't be that he's
CHEATING on a "wonderful specimen of womanhood" such as yourself!!
Etienne: *wipes up dripping sarcasm*
She
started to suspect that maybe there was another women involved, but who?
Jesse: Well there ain't that many
in the game...
Zelda
was already betrothed to marry the prince of a neighboring kingdom,
Etienne: (as Church Lady) How
conveeeeeeeenient!
and
Malon had already married two months before.
Genocide: Aww... my cute little
redhead... -_-;
But
Ruto remained single…
All: ......
oh
Goddesses could it be Ruto?
All: ....!!! O_o;;;
Kitiara
often suspected that the Zora might have been the one since she never really
got over her love for him, but never found any proof to prove her suspicions.
Genocide: *mindless giggle* That made
so little sense...
So
because she loved him, she excused his strange behavior and tried to continue
on with her life with him.
Jesse: Thus winning herself the
national Dumb Ass Award.
With
a sigh, Kitiara whipped the sweat from her brow,
Etienne: Whoa! ...She's into
S&M, eh? O_o;;
picked
up the filled basket of vegetables and walked into the house.
She
carried the basket into the dining room and was about to set it down, when
something shiny caught her eye.
Jesse: (Kitiara) Ooooh, shiney!
Etienne: (Aya) Link's Queen!
SHI-NE!!!!
Genocide: O_o;;
After
she put the basket down, she walked over where the glittering object was.
There
tucked casually inside the hood of Link's cloak was something golden.
Jesse: Yes, it was... CASUALLY
hidden there.
Kitiara
reached inside the hood and pulled out a gold chain with a gold dragon pendant
and a piece of paper.
Etienne: ...And the scene is
set. I wonder WHO Link is having an
affair with!? ...*yawn*
She
eyed the pendant and notice the symbol of the Sheikahs was clutched in its
claws. She knew that it couldn't be his since she never gave it to him and that
only the Sheikh people wore those types of pendants.
Genocide: Gee, it's not like Link
would ever get gifts from anyone ELSE or anything!
Then
Kitiara opened the paper to revel a letter.
Jesse: Nosy little thing, isn't
she?
She
started to read it, then suddenly gasped.
All: GASP!
Her
eyes went a deathly white as she finished reading it
Etienne: She went BLIND?? From
READING something!?
then
shakily put the letter down on the table beside her.
Genocide: Is she having a seizure?
Etienne: Does she smell burnt
toast??
Jesse: Has somebody called Dr.
Penfield!?
She
couldn't believe what she just read.
Etienne: It was so unbelieveable,
she won't tell us what it said!
One
of her hands clasped over her mouth
Genocide: Effectively choking her,
the end?
Jesse: If only.
as
she returned her attention back to the pendant still in her hand.
It
was at that point she knew her suspicions were true. But it wasn't the exact
thing she suspected, it was more then that.
Etienne: (darkly) Yes... it was
something much more... sinister.
She
closed her hand tightly around the pendant as small crystal white tears
Jesse: Crystal WHITE?? ...She may
want to get that checked out!
slowly
begun to stream down her rosy cheeks.
Link
was indeed was having an affair like she suspected, but it was who that caused
her whole world to be thrown into chaos.
Genocide: (Kititara) Never mind that
he's having an affair, he's having it with a man, goshdarnit!!!
And
it was the very same person that she thought never existed.
Jesse: Having an affair with an
imaginary man?
Genocide: ...Much like a certain
author and her lucid dreams, eh?
Etienne: *muffled snicker*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A
small Kariee chipped happily on a branch of the burlap tree Sheik stood under.
Etienne: Several questions... one,
what is a Kariee? Two, what the heck is it chipping? And three... a BURLAP
tree??? Burlap, like the sack??
The
wind brushed threw
Genocide: *screams and throws
dictionaries at the fic*
his
long blondish hair as his ruby red eyes sat transfixed
Jesse: Again with the transfixed
eyes...
Etienne: Isn't this where we came
in?
towards
the shimmering waters of Lake Hylia.
He
had gone there and had been waiting for about twenty minutes for the person he
was supposed to meet.
Genocide: Ha! Link stood him up! What
a burn!
His
letter said for the person to meet him at the lake just before noon, but it
seems that his company was late.
Jesse: As you've already stated.
Sheik
walked out from under the cozy shade of the tree and down towards the sandy
bank of the lake. Looking down into its glassy surface, he
Etienne: Realized he had no
reflection!!
was
able to make out the silhouette of the infamous Water Temple. With a sigh Shiek
concluded that his guest might not have shown up because he dreaded to come
near this place.
Then
Sheik's mind drifted back to the night he found "him"
Genocide: Wink wink, nudge nudge!
Etienne: Say no more!
lying
half naked along the very spot he was standing.
Jesse: (Sheik) Ahh! My virgin
eyes!
Sheik
remembered the way he found him, lying half
Etienne: (suspiciously) This looks
awfully familiar...
Jesse: It's a glitch in the
matrix!
out
of the lake, his hair matted with dirt and tainted with blood, his face and
body covered in bruises.
Genocide: ...Is that it??
Jesse: I think so....
Etienne: Yup! It's all blank space
from here!
Genocide: Sweeeet.... let's get the
hell outta here!!
(Everyone
hurries out of the theater and back onto the main deck of the SoB)
<SoB>
JESSE:
Well, that was... frighteningly better than "My Inner Life"...
GENOCIDE:
Agreed. ...O_o; Are we SURE she wrote that herself???
ETIENNE:
She must have, it has her trademark error--threw! ^_^;;
JESSE:
This must be a much newer work...
(The
screen flares to life)
<On
Screen>
(The
lietenant is nowhere to be seen)
H.C.
CHEESIE: (huffs) Well, my MORONIC counterpart hasseen it fit to BURN the last
bit of this fic... so, until further notice, you three won't be reading any
more of "Forbidden Love"...
<SoB>
ALL:
Wooooooo!!!
(much
cheering ensues, followed by the throwing of confetti)
<On
Screen>
H.C.
CHEESIE: *clears throat loudly* ah-HEM! ...However, you will STILL be subjected
to more LQ fics.... mwaha...mwahaha....MWAHAHAHAHAA!!!
<SoB>
ALL:
Nooooooo......
GENOCIDE:
Damn you cheesy bastard!! *shakes a fist*
<On
Screen>
H.C.
CHEESIE: (suddenly calm again) Well. I
guess SOMEone picked the wrong cheesie for consumption, no? I'll break your
little brains yet, fools!! LIETENANT!!! ...Push the button!!
(Lietenant
Cheesie slinks forward to press the button, mumbling sadly about the bong ^^;;)
<--blip!-->
<Fade
to Credits???>
MSTer's End Note: ...Ah-ha... ^^;; Admittedly
some bad end/host segments... also, this breaks the timeline of the MSTing of
"My Inner Life"... this MST actually takes place at a later date...
^^;; Don't worry, things will all fall together soon! And--I AM still working on My Inner Life... it's just slow
working. ^^;; If anyone would like to volunteer to do my school work in the
mean time, feel free! *L* Anyhoo, that's all for now, folks! ^_~
--Dissolved
Girl, bringing you the scariest in Badfics since... uh, a few weeks ago?
STINGER:
"This is a story based on the idea that has been spreading around Sheik
being a real man..."
(heehee!)